Have you ever started to go do something and then got distracted by something else?
For example, I can pick up the laundry hamper and go in to start a load of laundry and then see something along the way that needs picked up. I’ll put down the hamper, pick up a random item, put that away, notice the trash needs emptying, go wash my hands, clean off the counters, which can lead to restocking paper products, vacuuming, picking up a random item, etc. until I realize I haven’t started the laundry. Have I mentioned before I can have a squirrel moment? I’m blaming it on menopause!
Now, I could argue that all the things I found to occupy my time were worthwhile, and I was accomplishing things that needed to get done, however, the task I had originally prompted myself to do was neglected by distractions.
The Holy Spirit has been prompting me that I have been practicing this same technique in another area. For quite some time, I’ve felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to write/blog again. Now, in total transparency, I have been writing and journaling, I just haven’t posted anything.
I could give a plethora of excuses for not listening to this.
Doesn’t matter if I’ve put other “good” things in place to justify or pacify the disobedience. Disobedience is what it has been. I was neglecting a prompting that I was hearing. Any distractions, whether worthwhile or not, didn’t make me any less disobedient, or without sin. Can’t blame that on menopause! What sinful natures we are, and thanks be to God, there is a cure for that!
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
A confessed sin is forgiven, removed and forgotten! I can step forward in obedience, trusting in Him for the strength and guidance for the task He calls me to.
How gracious and loving our God is! Jesus cares about every bit of me! And He cares about every bit of you!
He cared enough to die on the Cross for all our sins! We just need to seek Him and surrender to Him.
The power and the magnitude of the Cross is that Jesus died for all who come to Him and surrender to Him!
“There is no one righteous, not even one,” Rom. 3:10
“For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Rom 3:23,24
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16,17
Have you surrendered your life to Jesus? Or are you trying to do it on your own?
What decision are you putting off because you’re waiting for the right time, the right knowledge, or experience, the right sign, or you’ve been distracted from?
What are you putting in place of being obedient to the stirring that you’re feeling in your heart right now?
What is God calling or asking you to be obedient about right now?
Whether it seems big or small to you – what is that stirring in your heart?
Some of my favorite lines from the movie, The Help. (Kathryn Stockett)
I was reminded today of someone who made people feel that way when they talked to them.
Let me step back a moment first though.
I’ve recently started a part-time job, and one of the things that I’m trying to do is remember alot of new names and faces. I was thinking about some of them this morning and also thinking about some of the little personal things that I already knew about them that is helping me remember and building that personal connection or relationship with them.
My community is expanding.
It is when we listen, share and learn something personal about the people around us that we can really learn to care and love each other. The person who seems distant may be shy or have a relative in the hospital. A seemingly imposing figure may just be a giant of a teddy bear. How do we find this out? By mainly taking the time to listen.
Too often when I’m busy, or when I’m “on a project” I can get so focused, I forget to listen. I’m so engrossed with what I’m doing or what project I want to accomplish that I tune out what is happening around me. I can get mired down in the details, particularly when there is a deadline, and focus so much on the details that anyone not working around me I can become critical of. Sometimes I will tell the person, and sometimes I may not vocalize it, but I’m thinking it. I’m talking about people doing their job, not just sliding by or passing the buck.
Working hard is okay, being judgemental isn’t. As I’ve aged, matured I recognize the negative traits in me quicker. I’m not proud of them, I’m just stating a truth.
Sigh. Forgive me, Lord for my sins. I’ll let you handle theirs. Forgive my impatience.
I’m striving for a more balanced approach. I’ve seen that example in Scripture, over and over. (I must not be the only one that needs the constant reminder) Jesus always took time to talk to people, made a personal connection with people. Never too busy.
With this strived, balanced approach of being produtive and aware, I was thinking how could I show this to the people I have met? Perhaps, asking one girl about her van that was in the shop, to show I was paying attention, or asking about the health of a loved one.
I started thinking, ‘I am never going to remember all this’. (As mentioned, I’m maturing, i.e., mind can only hold so much).
I thought about someone in my life who had a knack for remembering names, details, it seemed about all the people she came in contact with. I thought about my Aunt MaryAnn.
She had a way of making you feel special when you talked to her. She remembered things about you. You were important to her. She asked questions. She listened.
At her funeral, my cousin, Michael talked about her special gifts. He said she had a way of always making you feel special, and when she talked to you and asked you questions, she really wanted to know about you and what was going on. He said she was so interested in the lives of those she cared for and loved. He talked about running into people that he hadn’t seen in a while who would know all about him and his family, because his Mom would have talked with them and was current with their families’ going’s on and vice versa. (We are talking down to children and grandchildren!)
She was an encourager with her words. You couldn’t stay down in the dumps. She was a motivator, even during her battle with ovarian cancer.
My last, lengthly conversation with her was happy and bittersweet. She wanted to know all about my family and how everyone was doing and what was going on. She wanted to celebrate with me any accomplishments. She had soothing words for family that is not around. She had joyous words for loved ones around her. She had peaceful, confident words for where she was going. I was able to say goodbye, for now, and I love you. Too often we don’t get that chance.
So, I’m thinking today about those around me.
Jesus feels the same way about them. He feels the same way about me. He feels the same way about you.
Compassion – definition of compassion: sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it
On Thursday I drafted a post (which I’m now glad I didn’t post) about a blog that I stumbled upon around a year. My original draft included a link to the blog; fellow bloggers like ping-backs and the recognition. I’ve decided against naming the blog because of their recent post which was put up and then removed.
This blogger writes about their life after losing their job and returning to living with their parents. Some posts I find down right funny. The posts are well written. Some posts I find sad. I can feel the writer’s pain. Some posts I wonder, even if there is a fictional aspect to the material, how the blogger’s parents (particularly the Mother) would feel if she read the blog. I guess it is because I am slightly older, okay, middle age, fine, in my mid-50’s and probably close to the blogger’s mother’s age than I’d like to think about. There have been times when I’ve wondered how would I feel if I knew my children were saying things like that about me? I would be very hurt. It’s like I want to know the rest of the story, why do they act the way they do?
Sometimes the way the blogger makes fun of them is well, just plain mean. But that is just what I think at times. I often think of the expression “hurting people, hurt people”.
I noticed last night the blogger wrote a post that their parents found out about their blog. The blogger is trying to produce a web series and a family member posted about it. Surprise, their parents found out about it. Their post said it was “weird” at the house and their parents weren’t talking to them. There were about 7 comments from people saying things like “no big deal”, “what is the harm” “it is comedy” things along those lines. I rarely comment on that blog. I choose to yesterday. I could feel the pain of all of them. I wanted to help in some way. I prayed for the right words. Sometimes, I’m not sure if I “hear” right or if I’m just going off in my own direction. I finally just sent this off with a prayer:
Comedy can be funny, or it can be mean and is left up to the reader to discern. Only you know the intentions behind your words. Only you can explain what you meant to your parents or they are left to their own assumptions. Talk to them and it won’t be weird anymore. Don’t worry they will still give you lots of material. 🙂
Words spoken in anger, and hurt can not be taken back and always have consequences. Words are powerful and accountable.
…For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. – Matt. 12:14-37
I think about words that I have spoken in anger and hurt over the course of my life, and will probably be guilty of doing again. How about those thoughts, or words in my head, left unspoken, but heard by God? Sigh. None of us are exempt.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:8
Thankfully, there is forgiveness and peace for all who seek it.
This blogger reminds me to keep a watch over my words.
Search me, O God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24
Thank you Jesus for forgiving me when I need it. Thank you Jesus for all you have done for me/us.
I pray for Him to be known, really known in that family. I pray for them to experience His peace. My prayer is also for whomever reads this to experience His peace.
There has been a new friend I’ve been seeing when we go to the Park.
Someone new that is homeless.
I’d like you to meet her.
Fortunately, she has been able to make a good friend quickly and they seem to be looking after each other.
Zion
Three weeks ago Brenda was telling me how they met. It seems that someone “dumped” Zion out of a car to get rid of her and Brenda saw Zion was out in the street. From the beginning, Zion trusted Brenda and she came to her. Brenda waited to see if anyone came back for her, but nobody did. She named her Zion after the Zion church in the area.
When I first met Zion you could tell that people had mistreated her because she was very fearful. I’m happy to say that over the last two weeks, I can see such a big difference in her! Brenda has taken her to get her shots and all the necessities. I know that Brenda has used money she had been saving to get back home for this. Her growing love of Zion, and the bond they have formed is very evident.
Brenda told me that Zion came at a point “right when she needed her”.
I also think Brenda was there right when Zion needed her.
Their bond has been strong right from the beginning. I asked Brenda that first occasion I met Zion if I could take a picture of both of them. She agreed.
Brenda and Zion
There is always someway to connect with people….if we just listen…if we just see….
Lord, continue to keep my eyes and ears open please!
Sometimes I need to be reminded of a few things so I don’t forget. Of memories and lessons I’ve learned. Memories I blogged and lessons learned.
Originally Posted: May, 2011
This post has been floating around in my head for at least a year now……that’s right a year, seriously. I might as well say up front, it probably still won’t come across the way I want it to, but I figure it’s been floating around in there for so long, I may need the space that this has taken up for some other things, and so it is time to just “word dump” it so to speak.
What has been floating around in there?
Gee, I can almost feel the laughter and general overall snickers that are coming through right now at that question – however, I shall laugh at myself along with you because I know that at any particular time I am completely random.
What I am referring to is Mother’s Day.
Why, you might wonder would I ponder on that for so long?
Mother’s Day has evoked many emotions in me over the years. (I suspect it has in many. It appears to seem that way to me because well, you can get some pretty strong reactions sometimes).
So….pretty much that is what I’ve been thinking about….all those emotions I’ve felt.
When I was younger, being raised as a Jehovah’s Witness we didn’t celebrate any holidays or birthdays. That is just the way it was and still is for JW’s as far as I know. I didn’t think about holidays or celebrations until I was old enough to realize and think about what “I” was missing. So, quite frankly since “I” wasn’t involved when I was younger, Mother’s Day wasn’t even in my radar. I don’t know if my Mother did anything to acknowledge Mother’s Day to my Grandmother after she converted to being a JW to marry my Father, because Mom was not raised a JW. Since Mom and Grandmom are gone, I can’t ask. I’d like to think she did, as they were close, but as Gus said in the movie Big Fat Greek Wedding “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.”
Sigh. I’d like to know the answer to that question.
When I was around five I was taught how to play the piano by my Great-Grandmother. I have fond memories of the music played, the piano and times in her front parlor. My mother inherited not only her upright piano but much of her music as my mother was one who loved to sing. One of the pieces of music that my Mom inherited was a piece titled “Mother”. My Mom told me that she sang that piece to her mother at church one time when she was around 12. I remembered that. I liked knowing that. I sensed the strong emotional connection she had to the song along with her memories. After my Great-Grandmother’s death I used to play that and some other pieces in the basement on the old upright piano that Grammie taught me on. I know that my Mom used to listen to me playing the piano upstairs over an intercom that we had. Sometimes I would sing along with the song.
I have that old piece of sheet music. It is worn and tattered. I haven’t played it in a while, yet I can hear the words and music sometimes and it can bring back the memories of me playing it in the basement.
I like to think she heard me singing to her.
When I moved out of the house in my early 20’s, and started living on my own, started living a life that was separate from the JW’s, finding out who I was, holidays and celebrations became important for me to understand.
While I may have started celebrating holidays and birthdays, I still didn’t do anything to “upset the apple cart” so to speak when it came to my immediate family. I wasn’t “in your face” about it with them.
There are a few exceptions where I celebrated a holiday with my Mom. Mother’s Day was one. Twice she let me acknowledge that day with her. Usually, it was “you know, we don’t celebrate holiday’s”. But twice, she let me. Once was when I said I wanted to take her out to eat with my Grandmother for Mother’s Day. I picked them up and drove them to the Safari restaurant (I wonder if it is still there?) for an early dinner complete with cocktails and conversation. We spent all afternoon together. I don’t remember what we ate, but I can tell you as a struggling single person living in an apartment, that was one credit card purchase I do not regret! I would do it all over again! I can still remember how happy and pleasant that afternoon was for all three of us. I also remember Mom being particularly happy and pleased about the day.
I remember both of their smiles from that day sitting at the table.
The other Mother’s Day she let me acknowledge was close to her death. By then, Craig and I were a couple, and I remember Craig and I stopped to visit her and I took her a pink sweater. This was the Mother’s Day before she died. I had bought myself one like it in white. I bought her a pink one. I thought the pink one was more cheerful. She needed something cheerful. Maybe I was the one that needed to see something cheerful on her.I don’t know, I don’t know. She said she liked it, and after she died I kept it and the white one I bought for a long, long time.
Eventually, you realize the memories are in your heart and your head, and you can let go of some “things you’re holding on to”. I don’t remember when I gave away the sweaters, but one day I did, I didn’t need them anymore.
June ’83 My sister, me, Grandmom & Mom (Mom found out she had cancer 6 months later)
Mother’s Day after that I continued to celebrate with my Grandmother who had always been someone that I enjoyed celebrating holidays and birthdays with. She was such a blessing and joy throughout my whole life. (I’ve talked about her and her influence in one of my previous blogs here).
Becoming first a step-mother and than having babies changed the way I thought about Mother’s Day. It made me look at things differently. I was blessed to have my Grandmother with me during my early days as a Mom. She did her best to keep me grounded. She was the matriarch of the family. She was my mentor. She showed me Jesus.
I confess though, there was a time when Mother’s Day evoked a not so nice emotion
…….jealously, greed, envy.
Sometimes I would see all the hype and hoopla about “this is how it should be” or I would see friends getting treated in a way that I thought was better than I was being treated, or I felt like I was missing out on something because of my situation, and then those sinful feelings would appear. No use pretending that isn’t what those feelings are. Just plain sin.
I didn’t like it. I don’t like to admit it. But it’s true.
So then, I got to thinking, wasn’t I just back to being the kid I was again when I was little? I mean, wasn’t I making it about the “I” again?
What was the origin of Mother’s Day after all? Did or does it have anything to do with the fact of me being a Mom? Why was I thinking about me, and not about my Mom?
The history of the American Celebration of Mother’s Day began with Anna M. Jarvis remembering her mother in 1908. Anna petitioned the church where her mother had taught Sunday School for over 20 years to have a day to celebrate Mother’s, to remember her mother and in honor of peace. Her request was honored and on May 10, 1908, the first official Mother’s Day celebration took place at St. Andrew’s Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia and a church in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Check out more details here.)
Anna wanted to remember her Mom. Anna never had children of her own. I don’t see that she intended the day to be about that at all. She wasn’t thinking about herself. She was thinking about her Mom.
Now, I know there are a lot of people who love/loved their Moms, but there are just as many that don’t know/knew their Mom’s, or who don’t/didn’t get along with their Mom’s.
I hate to say know that I fell/fall in those categories…as a daughter, and as a Mom on some days.
Sigh.
I’ve read blogs about dysfunctional families, (really, don’t we all have them), where they are blasting their Mom’s sometimes, I’ve read blogs where there is a sweet appreciation for what their Mother’s have done for them. I don’t get a sense that they always get along, just that they have grown to appreciate them for the individuals they are. I have friends who don’t know who their Mom’s are, and some who know their Moms, but really don’t like them sometimes. I know some who love their Mom’s dearly. I know friends who have a relationship that can only be defined as cordial with their moms. I know friends who want a deeper relationship with their Mom, but realize that what they have is “all they will get”. I have friends who grieve for lost Moms.
I understand. I have been all these women at times.
Psalm 139:13-16
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
God choose my mother. He choose your mother. For a reason. God has our best interests at heart. Does it make sense some days? No. But then we have that pesky human brain always trying to make sense of things.
I need to remind myself at times there are certain things I won’t understand. I need to trust in the wisdom of God.
Mother’s Day. It’s not about me being a Mom. It’s about my Mother.
Yes, society has hyped it up and Anna M. Jarvis herself didn’t like what society had made the day become. In 1923 she filed a law suit against New York Governor Al Smith. She was increasingly concerned over the commercialization of the day in the flower and card industry. (See related link here)
But isn’t that what Satan would like to do with something that’s done in love.…turn it back to sin..make it about stuff, greed, envy and jealously. Oh, he’s ‘good’ at what he does isn’t he?
Well, I’m choosing to make it about the love. I’m choosing to remember the good.
I know my Mother loved me the best she could.
I choose to thank the Lord for giving me the Mother that he gave me and the precious memories that I have.
qqq My Mother, probably in her early 30’s
That is what Mother’s Day is truly about – remembering to thank the Maker for the Mother he choose for you. I was blessed to have her. I was doubly blessed to have a truly wonderful Grandmother who filled that role in my life in so many ways.
Thank you Lord for the blessings you have given me in life.
Here’s in remembrance of you Mom, Happy Mother’s Day!
Here are the lyrics from my original piece of sheet music as best as I can tell:
M-O-T-H-E-R – A word that means the world to me.
Words by Howard Johnson. Music by Theodore Morse
I’ve been around the world, you bet, But never went to school, Hard knocks are all I seem to get, Perhaps I’ve been a fool; But still, some educated folks, supposed to be so swell, Would fail, if they were called upon a simple word to spell. Now if you’d like to put me to a test, – There’s one dear name that I can spell the best: –
“M” is for the million things she gave me, “O” means only that she’s growing old, “T” is for the tears were shed to save me, “H” is for her heart of purest gold; – “E” is for her eyes, with love-light shining, “R” means right, and right she’ll always be, – Put them all together, they spell “MOTHER”, a word that means the world to me.
When I was but a baby, long before I learned to walk, While lying in my cradle, I would try my best to talk; It wasn’t long, before I spoke, and what the neighbors heard, My folks were very proud of me, for “Mother” was the word. Although I’ll never lay a claim to fame, I’m satisfied that I can spell the name.
“M” is for the mercy she possesses, “O” means that I am never on my own, “T” is for her tender sweet caresses, “H” is for her hands that made a home, “E” means everything she’s done to help me, “R” means real and regular, you see, Put them all together, they spell “MOTHER”, a word that means the world to me.
First, let me give my apologies for not reporting on last Wednesday’s trip to Finlay park before now. It was just one of those weeks.
Wednesday was a really dreary, rainy, damp day. (I know, what a lot of adjectives) Rainy days have a way of dampening the spirits, and it certainly doesn’t help when you are also operating on a serious lack of sleep due to a bout of insomnia. I know that while we were driving to the park, I was praying to myself, “please God, let me be an encouragement to those in need today, even while I feel so spent inside”.
We arrived and unloaded the cars under the pavilion to protect everything from the rain. There certainly weren’t as many as the Friday before, but still we served around 50 or more. Some had arrived as early as 8:30 a.m. to get there before the downpour to keep their things as dry as possible. We had lasagna, chili, vegetable beef soup, cookies and brownies available. With the rain and a slightly smaller group than the Friday before, there was the opportunity for seconds and thirds if needed. We don’t ever seem to have any leftovers. We thought there was going to be some chili left over, but when we loaded up the cars, a man came over to get a few bowls for himself and his two children, two more stopped, next thing….Marlo’s chili…..gone.
Our “regular” friends were there. They laugh when we call them by their nicknames now. There’s Chuck “Too Tall”, Jerry “Green Hornet” and Robert ”Big Bird”. Their spirits were pretty good considering the weather, and the need to make new living arrangements since the shelter was closing.
We got to visit with Dawn and Ernie before they prepare to leave for Ohio. Robert “Big Bird” is going with them, and we may see him one more time before they leave. Dawn and Ernie we will not see until they return in six months. They will be working with a carnival. This is something that they do every year, and then they return as Dawn’s children and mother live here in the area. Dawn has been able to eat, however, they have been anxious because someone has been threatening Dawn’s life. They received money from their employer in Ohio to stay in a hotel prior to leaving, so this past Wednesday was the last day we would see them for a while. Dawn was emotional, and they stayed at the park as long as we were there. When we were packed up, Ernie shook hands and thanked Rebecca and Marlo for “starting this thing”. It was a bittersweet goodbye, as Rebecca and her family will be moving and Ernie and Dawn know that they will not be seeing them when they return.
It was one of those days where I really just had such mixed feelings. I didn’t know if I was making a difference or not. I sensed sadness in those leaving, yet I had also shared some laughs with some others. I knew Ernie and Dawn were in a situation that I couldn’t really help with. Sometimes you just feel helpless. And I was thinking, if I feel helpless, what do they feel? You know how when you are tired, you just question yourself and how you’re doing? That’s where I was.
That’s also when God speaks….if I’m willing to listen, if I’m willing to see and hear. If the heart is open.
Jason, had been talking with me awhile about how much our ministry meant to him. He said that he might not see us next week, because he had a pretty good job interview. Before he left, he had shook my hand, and then I gave him a hug. He started walking away, and looked back at me sideways and said “Keep doing God’s work, I love you.”
I have to tell you at first it surprised me. And, then I was reminded again of a lesson: why do I keep thinking that we are the only one’s that are “doing God’s work here?” Here are some men and women walking with God, in their own ways showing Jesus’ love, they just happen to be homeless. I was forgetting Jason’s walk with Christ, and how we can all help and encourage each other.
I went there to encourage and became someone who was ministered too.
Open the eyes of my heart Lord……….and keep them open.
Just As I Am 