Tag: Jesus

Continued Refinement

Featured ~ Denise ~ Leave a comment

A lot has happened since my last post and once again I find myself right back here acknowledging my lack of posting.

However this time it is more an accountability confession as I had sensed I was being prompted to post before now by the Holy Spirit, yet put it off.

I tried to justify and console myself with the fact that I had indeed been writing, just not posting. Sort of half the job.

I wouldn’t particularly accept that excuse myself; yet here I was thinking He would.

These words spring to mind:

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” 1 John 1:8

Holy Spirit promptings are for obedience. I had not listened.

What should one do when one realizes this?

The scripture goes on to say:

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.” 1 John 1:8-10

What a loving and merciful Lord we serve! One who refines us, teaches us, prompts us and does not condemn us when we fall short (because we will in our imperfections).

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Rom 8:1

I let too many things prevent me till now.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Cor 12:9

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” John 14:26

I’m leaning into the fire.

I hope and pray you stick along for the refinement with me.

Blessings to you!

Denise

What is it for you?

~ Denise ~ 1 Comment

Have you ever started to go do something and then got distracted by something else?

For example, I can pick up the laundry hamper and go in to start a load of laundry and then see something along the way that needs picked up. I’ll put down the hamper, pick up a random item, put that away, notice the trash needs emptying, go wash my hands, clean off the counters, which can lead to restocking paper products, vacuuming, picking up a random item, etc. until I realize I haven’t started the laundry. Have I mentioned before I can have a squirrel moment? I’m blaming it on menopause!

Now, I could argue that all the things I found to occupy my time were worthwhile, and I was accomplishing things that needed to get done, however, the task I had originally prompted myself to do was neglected by distractions.

The Holy Spirit has been prompting me that I have been practicing this same technique in another area. For quite some time, I’ve felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to write/blog again. Now, in total transparency, I have been writing and journaling, I just haven’t posted anything.

I could give a plethora of excuses for not listening to this.

Doesn’t matter if I’ve put other “good” things in place to justify or pacify the disobedience. Disobedience is what it has been. I was neglecting a prompting that I was hearing. Any distractions, whether worthwhile or not, didn’t make me any less disobedient, or without sin. Can’t blame that on menopause! What sinful natures we are, and thanks be to God, there is a cure for that!

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

A confessed sin is forgiven, removed and forgotten! I can step forward in obedience, trusting in Him for the strength and guidance for the task He calls me to.

How gracious and loving our God is! Jesus cares about every bit of me! And He cares about every bit of you!

He cared enough to die on the Cross for all our sins! We just need to seek Him and surrender to Him.

The power and the magnitude of the Cross is that Jesus died for all who come to Him and surrender to Him!

“There is no one righteous, not even one,” Rom. 3:10

“For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Rom 3:23,24

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16,17

Have you surrendered your life to Jesus? Or are you trying to do it on your own?

What decision are you putting off because you’re waiting for the right time, the right knowledge, or experience, the right sign, or you’ve been distracted from?

What are you putting in place of being obedient to the stirring that you’re feeling in your heart right now?

What is God calling or asking you to be obedient about right now?

Whether it seems big or small to you – what is that stirring in your heart?

What is it for you?

Gifts Amidst Sadness

~ Denise ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes it is amidst sadness that we find great gifts.

Yesterday we attended a celebration of life for my second cousin.

Listening to family remembering his life, and talking with other family members, I was again reminded of family threads that run through and in us that we are often seemingly unaware of. I thought about my great grandparents and grandparents, some I recall, and some I’ve never knew, who have shaped and impacted generations, and still impact generations today. I thought about how generations before that may have impacted tendencies deep within us, without us even being aware of it. The thread running in my mind was how words and actions have the power to impact generations.

I know that God places each of us where we are supposed to be. I know that He places in each of us a desire to know Him. As I’ve walked and continue to walk my own spiritual journey, I’ve realized there have always been people surrounding me that were drawing me to the love of Jesus. When I was younger, I would have been hard pressed to describe the feeling I had when I was with my Mother’s side of the family, I just wanted to be around them. Yes, I loved my Father’s side of the family, but I was drawn to my Mother’s side.

Lately I have been thinking about our older generation. I’ve come to realize that even though our older generation was not always as vocal with their spiritual beliefs, they lived it. And, by living it out, they drew in me, a little girl who was being led down a false path to continue to lean in and press near to Jesus. I rejoiced yesterday; when the Lord’s name was declared! Praise Jesus!

When I was very young, I remember gathering, playing and laughing with multiple generations of my Mother’s side of the family. We would gather at my Great Grandmother’s house for picnics and gatherings. As the years passed, when any from that generation would gather together, for whatever reason, there was always the feeling of acceptance, love, family, of just being home. Sadly, the gatherings became fewer in between as most of the older generation passed, & the younger generation scattered.

For years now, whenever I think of Heaven and what it might be like, I remember those gatherings. To me Heaven would be an expanded version of those gatherings. Where not only those who have passed on would be gathered in one great picnic and homecoming, but I would also one day see all those in my life that my family circle has expanded to be: whether by marriage, birth, friendship, church or community. Heaven will be one glorious homecoming of all those that the Lord has placed in my life for His purpose.

Yesterday, some of that generation gathered again, to remember a loved one passing. For me, that same feeling was there. That feeling of hope. The hope that I have in Jesus. With that hope is the belief that He is pursuing those I love that don’t know Him. The belief He cares enough for us to pursue us. We just need to respond.

So, while it is sad to say goodbye here on earth, a great gift is bestowed. The gift of hope! The gift of Jesus! That is what I believe Heaven will be. Oh, what a glorious homecoming!

May you find the true gift of Hope this Christmas Season.

May you know Jesus.

“That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord”, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

 

Ripples

~ Denise ~ 4 Comments

Ripple effect on water.
Ripple effect on water. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A few years ago at my Thursday ladies Bible study group, we were discussing making a difference in people’s lives.  We talked about how hard it is to know if that is happening or not.  We talked about one day in Heaven meeting those we’ve impacted by even just the smallest thing we might not even be aware of.  We talked about the ripples we can help create.  Someday we will see how He has used us, if we are willing to be used.

One of the girls recalled some words she had heard that resonated with me.  They were something along these lines:

You never know what you may say to someone that may be repeated to their children, or grandchildren which will ultimately lead to that person coming to know Christ.

It struck me.  The things we say and do can have generational impact.

I will pray that Jesus will use me; I pray that He will put the right words in my mouth.  However, I confess, I can get caught up in today’s society of instant gratification.   For the most part, I like to think I’m patient, but there are sometimes when I want to see the results of things without waiting.

When I think, or sense a ripple, I have been consciously making an effort to be thankful for being part of the ripple and letting it go.  It isn’t always easy.  My mind wants to hit replay and think what I could have said or done differently.    Notice how quick the mind wants to go back to the “I”?  Notice how whisper thoughts of pride can so easily turn into a sticky woven tangled web of self importance?

Sigh.

In the quiet moments, God speaks.  If a prayer of ‘help me Jesus’ is offered before any words are uttered, than I need not worry.   What is being said is what is needed at the time.  Seeds are being planted.  He will water them.  He will make them grow.

In the past four weeks, we have been blessed to have our granddaughter visit us.  We had conversations with her about the gospel, does she or can she know for sure if she is going to Heaven?  What does it mean about being saved by grace not by works.  From the first meal we ate together we prayed before we ate so she got into the habit of us doing that together, and when I flew home with her she reminded the family at dinner before we ate we needed to pray.  She had a friend over one evening who said:  “I never had anybody do that before, that was awesome.”

Right before I flew home, there were 10 of us (mostly adults) that went to a restaurant for lunch.  It was a noisy crowed restaurant and I hesitated suggesting a prayer before the meal, I was thinking they are adults, if they want to pray before they eat, they can silently pray to themselves.

Sigh.

Granddaughter said to those who received their food first and were starting to pick at it, “you can’t eat yet, we haven’t prayed”.

Out of the mouths of children.

So we held hands, and humbled, I prayed our thanks.

I also prayed a silent repentant & thankful prayer.

How quick I forget, how thankful I am to be forgiven, and how thankful I am Jesus is always drawing me closer to Him.

 How thankful I am to see the ripple effect.

On me.

The call back

~ Denise ~ 11 Comments

I was wondering if he would call me back.

And he did.

This morning, I talked to my Dad after well, I don’t remember how many years.

He was hesitant, slightly awkward sounding, but yet anxious to talk.  He proceeded to tell me he had been busy the day before going door to door, giving a talk (Jehovah’s Witness language for preaching) in the evening, and had missed seeing my call until later at night.

We talked about my message that we had moved.

Mid discussion, I prayed for the right words.  I prayed for what I needed.

Compassion is what Jesus gave me.  Compassion, and the confidence to speak boldly in love.

I heard sadness when he told me that he still loves me and thinks of me, and that it’s just a shame.

I could sense a tired man in his 80’s.  I could hear the sadness, but also a holding on to a life of what he believes.

As gently and lovingly as I could I told him I loved him too, but that he needed to understand that any of my past sins have been forgiven and forgotten by Jesus and they are gone and in the past, and it was too bad he didn’t feel that way too.

He mentioned something about yes, God sits in judgment of us, and that he does say he will forgive us.

I told him Christ forgave me years ago, and I was secure in that belief.  I was good about it.  I wish he felt that way too.  God sits in judgment, not men, or more importantly religious organizations.  That was something he would had to come to grips with.

He started talking about other things.  Pleasantries, like the weather, and how his sister, my aunt was doing.

When he said he thought of me over the years, I told him that I thought of him too, and while I may have wanted to call him or talk to him before I didn’t.  I didn’t because I felt like I was honoring his statements of no contact.  But that part of me wanted to just call anyway because I don’t agree with his position.  So I felt like I was honoring his wishes but I did not agree with it.  This also was something he had to come to grips with.

It was like our roles were reversed, where at one time I would have been quiet and listened while he talked; now I was bold.

A few more pleasantries, and then the conversation ended.

I’m not looking back on what else I could have or might have said.

What will become of this?  I don’t know.

But I know who does.

Lord,

Thank you for giving me a glimpse of seeing through your eyes.

Forgive me when I look just through mine at those around me……..including my Dad.

This is in your hands.

I trust you.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

Wrestling will make you ache….

~ Denise ~ 8 Comments

Genesis 32:23-32

That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok.  After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions.  So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.  When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man.  Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

The man asked him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.”

Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”

But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?”  Then he blessed him there.

So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.  Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon.

Jacob didn’t always know God.  He knew of him.  But he didn’t know him.

In Genesis 27:20, Jacob refers to the LORD as Isaac’s God, he had not made God his own.  He had not had a personal connection with Him.  In Genesis 32, you see Jacob’s change.  Jacob had struggled all his life, first with his brother Esau, then with Laban, now Jacob realized it was with God that he would “wrestle”.  Jacob’s persistence was rewarded with a blessing.

Did that mean Jacob stopped wrestling with God?  No, by the end of Genesis 33 we find Jacob lingering near Shechem instead of being obedient by going to Bethel (exit mention of God).  Genesis 34 records the trouble (to put it mildly) for him and his family.  It is in chapter 35 of Genesis that we see Jacob repenting, and God assuring him again of his blessings.

And there are people who can’t relate to the Old Testament?  Seriously?

I seem to find myself back there a lot.

At some time during our lives we all “wrestle” in deciding to make God ours or not.

Just like Jacob.

Then, you wrestle, even when you’re not aware of it, well, at least you I try to tell yourself myself that anyway.

Just like Jacob.

I’ve been wrestling lately.

I’ve been wrestling the feeling for weeks that Jesus has asked me to call my father.

The internal dialogue has gone something like this:

I want you to call your father and tell him you are moving.

I don’t want to.

I know you don’t.  That is why I’m asking you to.

Do you think he really cares where I am?  He will just reject me again.

–silence—

How about I send him a letter?  You know, that way I’m reaching out, but I won’t have to listen to him tell me again it’s ‘my fault’ that he doesn’t call me.

–silence—

Look, I found some things that were Mom’s, maybe I should send them to him?  How about that?

That would be nice.  You know, though, the loving thing would be to call him, tell him you are moving.  The only contact number he has for you will disappear once you move.

Well, it’s not like he calls me.  You know what he thinks, and how he feels about calling me, he doesn’t.  It has been years since he has called me, and that was only because someone had died, and then it was after the fact.  I’ll call him after I send the things with a letter.  You know break the ice.

–silence—

Lord, things are happening so quickly.  I sometimes can’t believe we are moving.  There are so many things to do.

I thought you were going to send something to your Dad?

Well, I was going to, you know, but been really busy getting everything ready for the move, and well, I didn’t have time to sit down and put my thoughts together clearly.

Didn’t have time, or make time?

Um, well, yeah, make time.  You know, I really need to call Aunt Jean and tell her we are moving.  I haven’t talked to her for a while.  I need to call her.    Why can’t I find her phone number though?  Oh, bother.  Now I can’t tell Jean.  She will wonder about me.  I wonder how she is doing; now I won’t know.

Your father will.  Call him.

I don’t want to.  Why can’t I find Jean’s number?  I can’t find any information on the assisted living home she is in to call her.  I can’t find any of my notes.

–silence—

Lord, our quiet time is different here.  I’m trying to get in the rhythm of finding the place where we sit and spend our time together.  I’ve been missing the windows where I’d look up in the trees.

I’m here.

I know that Lord.  It’s just the busyness of activity has subsided for a while.  Now I’m thinking and feeling something unfinished.  I’ve talked to both Mom’s brothers since we’ve moved, but I still can’t find Jean’s information.

You know who has is.

I know, but I have a migraine today, I can’t call him.  My mind won’t be sharp.

Do you trust me?

Please don’t ask me that today.

–silence–

Lord, about that aching in my shoulder, you know, that one, it’s really bothering me today.  It bothered me enough that when I woke up, I was reminded of the days in therapy after the surgery; and stretched my arm over my head and felt the tightness across my back, in my shoulder, down my arm.  Yesterday a migraine, today aches.  Is it the rain, or are you trying to get me attention?  What’s on the agenda today?

You know what it is.  You’ve known all along.

Sigh.

I know.  I know Lord.  I can be so stubborn.  I keep finding reasons to put off being obedient to what you are asking me to do.  Please, please forgive me.  It is just that fear again.  Fear to hear the rejection, again.

I understand.

Yes.  Oh.  Oh.  That’s something that you hear all.the.time.

Yes.

Oh, oh, and you’ve been hearing it from me when I’ve not been obedient to what I know you’ve been asking me to do…….I’m so sorry Lord…. Please forgive me……Help me to be obedient.  I will do what you are asking me regardless of the outcome, or how it may make me feel……I trust you.

I love you.

Okay, I will do it after I do….no, I will do it….now.! I will not put it off any longer.  I trust you to give me the words to say.

Dial.  Ring.  An answering machine.

And so while smiling, I left a cheerful message.  One saying that we had moved and where we were.  Gave him my phone number and told him that his grandkids were well.  Told him that I couldn’t find my information from when I visited his sister, and hoped all was well.   I called him Dad when I said hello, and called him Dad when I said goodbye.

I was smiling to myself the whole time, because even when I knew I had doubted and didn’t trust Him with what now seemed such a little matter, I was forgiven, it was forgotten and I was loved.  Being obedient has its blessings.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.  And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified, those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to this?  If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for the all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?  Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen?  It is God who justifies.  Who is he that condemns?  Christ Jesus, who died – more than that, who was raised to life – is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, nether the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:28-39

Update:   I decided to look again in all the places that I thought I had put my Aunt’s contact information.  I found it the first place I went to.  There it was all along, and I wasn’t seeing it before now.  Well, what do you know, what do you know.