Tag: Homelessness

OSS Update

~ Denise ~ 3 Comments

I’m getting reading to go back to the park tomorrow.  Making some cookies. 🙂

Last time, I was able to take a few pictures on the way into the park without being noticed or making anyone uncomfortable.

Here we are on the street before we turn into the park, and you can see the line is already forming.

Heading to Finley Park

Here is part of the car caravan with the food and stuff!  You can also see some more people walking to join the line already formed.

“C” has given permission not only to use his name (hooray!), but also to be photographed.

Let me introduce you to our friend Chuck!

Chuck and Denise
Chuck and Denise

Continue to pray for Chuck as he deals with his diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis.  He was interested to hear about the prayers for him from my new blogging friend Miss Whiplash who even blogged about OSS on her page.  He thought it was “cool”.

“J” talking with Craig

Sorry for the “sideways” picture.  I was putting my camera away and took a few shots without realizing it.  Tee-hee.

Dawn said she would provide a picture for me of her and her boyfriend Ernie or let me take one (next time maybe?).  She showed me her paperwork for some upcoming surgery she is having on the 24th of this month.  She told me which hospital she would be in and what time the surgery would be for them to correct the damage that was done on her previous operation.  I told her I wanted to come see her in the hospital.  She was surprised, and pleased.  She made sure I saw everything I needed on her paperwork so that I could find her.  Her boyfriend Ernie was not with her as he was selling his plasma so that he could get some money for food (Ensures, or milkshakes) that she could eat for the week.  She is still only able to eat liquids.  She told me he was eating lots of peanut butter sandwiches prior to selling the plasma and that you can do that once a week.

(I was reminded of a young girl I knew a while back that had sold her blood plasma for some money to pay her bills.  It was the first time that I had heard about something like that.  It made my heart sad at the time that she felt she had to do that (it still does when I think about it).  There were some of us that rallied around her with some help.  I remember hoping that it would be enough that she didn’t ever have to do that again, and that she would come to us for help when she needed it.)

Apparently it is not uncommon for the homeless to sell their blood plasma.  It provides cash they need.   I believe they get around $30-35.  (Side note:  I was told it is also common for local college students to do the same thing).

Something to think about before picking up that casual purchase….would I give my life’s blood for it?  Hum.

While I was talking to Dawn, I kept being drawn to a petite woman sitting off to the side.  I have noticed her before, but she usually leaves quickly.  This time she was sitting close to us…sort of just hanging around.  I didn’t want to just stop talking to Dawn and be rude, so I was waiting for the right moment to leave to meet this lady.

It happens that Dawn started asking about the dog that one of the helpers took home two weeks ago.  There was a homeless man that was willing to go into rehab, but had a dog named Lucky.  Dawn, Ernie and Chuck were encouraging him to get into rehab, but he was worried about his dog.  Once he realized someone would take care of Lucky he was willing to go to rehab.  Dawn said he heard he was in rehab, but was wondering about his dog.  She was asking so she could get word back to him. So, while they were chatting about Lucky, I wandered over to meet this petite lady.

I noticed that she had a bag with some knitting needles and some yarn stuck out of it.  Well, I can knit and crochet, so this led to an opening topic.  We spoke a little about knitting.  She showed me her work, and also showed me a beautiful purse she had knit. She said she works with scrap pieces of yarn.  I asked her if she minded if I brought her some scrap balls of yarn that I had from projects.  (I usually don’t throw them away, because I think someday I’ll use them….someday usually doesn’t arrive, haha).  Anyway, she said “That would be really nice, I have not been able to purchase yarn for a while, maybe when I get back home”.  I asked her where “home” was.  She said “Germany”.

Wow, Germany.  Makes you wonder how she ended up on the streets of Columbia, South Carolina.  Maybe she’ll share her story when she feels comfortable.  I asked her name.  Let’s call her “B”.  I’m anxious to learn more about her and pray for her safety.

People were starting to pack things up and carting things off to cars.  Someone called my name.   I told her it was really nice meeting and talking with her.  She said likewise.

I turned to help pack some things, and she quietly crossed the street and disappeared up the hill.

I think that she is friends with “S” and “T” and I knew that they had gone to the library.  I hope she has someone to watch out for her on the streets.  Pray for her safety.

These trips downtown certainly can bring up memories or stir your emotions.   What a blessing and opportunity! It continues to makes me appreciate what I have, where I’ve been, what I’ve learned and look forward to what I will learn.

Blessings everyone!

Another one of those camera shots from the hip I didn’t know about! 🙂

Operation Soup and Smokes Visit

~ Denise ~ 2 Comments

We visited Finley Park again last Friday for Operation Soup and Smokes.

My brain felt like it was going into overload, trying to remember all the details when I left.

I had a few things going into the afternoon there that I wanted to remember:  touch bases with two different couples, “C”, a particular quiet individual, and look to learn some new names.

There is a couple that dresses in Harley gear, which we see quite often, and I wanted to make sure I got their names and could remember them.  They usually get their food and then go off by themselves.  So, I wanted to make sure I spoke with them.  (“S” and “T” for future use as of now.)

Then there was one of the guys who helps and is usually pretty quiet, and I wanted to catch his name.   He reminds me in build of Bryan, and sometimes has the same sad look on his face.

There is another couple, which has been a fixture from the beginning, however, had been missing for a while.  We had went looking for them when Bryan died, because she had been quite upset when we gave Bryan a ride, and wanted to make sure he was going somewhere safe.  After we read about Bryan’s passing in the paper, Craig went to the park, but couldn’t find them.  We found out later that she was in the hospital, and had to have surgery.

For the last two weeks, she was telling me about her surgery (partial hysterectomy), and how the breathing tube they used had damaged her throat and then the medications they gave her had given her an allergic reaction and burned her throat.  She has been unable to eat any solid foods for weeks.   She has been just sipping the broth from any soups that we take.  Friday, I took a big coffee mug filled with chicken broth, as I wasn’t sure what she would be able to have out of what was available.  She said she has been drinking bouillon, some baby food, and that her mother visited her and gave her some Ensure’s.  She has lost over 40 lbs in a month.   Even with the multiple layers of clothing, it has been evident to us that she is losing weight rapidly.

She came back to talk to me two or three times on Friday.  I told her that we were praying for her, and that more would pray for her.  I told her about this page, and I asked if I could use her name, so you could pray for her by name if you’d like.  Her name is Dawn.

When she was finished with her broth, she brought back the coffee mug to me, and talked to me a little more about her mother visiting her.  She hadn’t wanted to worry her mother.  She also wants to be able to see her children.  We talked about other things that she might be able to eat like baby food and what might have the right vitamins.  She mentioned that she has been unable to take her seizure medicine as the pill is too large and she cannot get the liquid form.  (It is these little side comments that tell us more and more).

Seizure medicine.  Sigh.

I just felt such a burden for her inside, recovering from surgery, living with seizures, not being able to eat, living on the streets.  The list seemed endless.  Dawn is a petite woman, and I just felt compelled to keep hugging her, and just said out loud “Jesus, please look after my friend, Dawn”.  (I confess I had a knot in my throat when I said that, and my voice was more than a little quivery.) She was hugging me back, but quickly looked up at me, with a surprised sweet smile.  That is when I told her that I was praying for her, and about this blog, and that others would pray for her too.  She said she could use all the prayers she could get.  She wandered off again.

That is one thing that I notice.  Conversations happen in pieces.  They are constantly in motion.  Like they can’t relax and stay in one place too long.

In another conversation, I learn about being “warned” for “camping” at the park.  You only get two warnings.  The third time, you are arrested.  Then if you can’t pay the $250 fine, you have to stay in jail.  When you are in jail, then you can’t check into the shelter.  When you don’t check in the shelter, they put all your stuff in the dumpsters.

Now I understand the constant motion, and why I see hats pulled low sometimes, or hoods pulled up, and then lowered.  Conversations starting, stopping, and starting again.  Everyone seems to wear dark sunglasses.  I guess the better to watch, without being watched.

I learn that sometimes they will call the police on each other.   I learned that now that the weather is warming up they have been getting more warnings.  In fact when we had arrived, there was a police car there.  We had jumped out of our cars just like normal, and started setting up, and I wasn’t sure if he was going to come and talk to us or not.  But, our friends came over, helped unload the cars, tables were set up, food put on the table, line started, and off we went.  I didn’t see the car leave, we were too busy serving.

On one of the occasions Dawn and I were talking “C” brought over a sweater out of the clothing that we had available.  He said “Dawn, here is something that you could probably use”.  She replied, “Thanks, Too-Tall”.  So that tells you a little more about “C”, he really is tall.  🙂  We are starting to learn their nicknames for each other.  So far, “Too Tall”, “Green Hornet” and “Big Bird” are some that we have heard.

I also spent some time with “C”.  (I’m going to see if he will let me mention his name.  I believe he will, but I want to make sure.) “C” aka “Too-Tall” seems to know everyone’s name, even though the others seem to use the nicknames.  I asked about his rheumatoid arthritis and his diabetes.   He said at the last doctor’s visit when the doctor probed his feet, he really didn’t feel it.  That isn’t a good sign when you have diabetes.  He said he also has been having some cramping in his legs.   He said his knee brace has been working fine, his cane he might not need as much anymore.  He kidded that he was using it to pull “F” up the hills.

“F” is the guy that I mentioned in beginning that is quiet.  He is always quick to help us unload the car.  “F” may or may not be there this coming Friday.  “C” said he is trying to get him to go home to NC.  He has a home to go to.  “C” said “F, you have a home to go to, you need to get back there, I don’t have a home to go to”.  “F” was melancholy.  He was missing his baby sister who died from diabetes.  “C” talking about his doctor’s visit, got him to thinking about it.  He told me how much he loved his sister, and missed her.  He told me that she was a Christian, and he knew she was in Heaven.  He said he had been working here in Columbia, but had gone home for her funeral, and when he came back here, didn’t work very long before he was layed off.  Since he hadn’t been working 60 days, he wasn’t able to get unemployment.  He took out a battered wallet and showed me a picture of his sister that looked like it had gotten wet, and was really faded.  He said, “This is the only picture I have of her, and it isn’t very good”.  I told him, “you have a picture of her, here”, and pointed to his heart.  He said “yes, I loved her.”  Then he showed me pictures of his children.  It was a beautiful family picture of 5 children.  He pointed to the oldest girl, and said that is my daughter, that I’m going to see.   The three of us talked a bit about God being in control, even when we don’t feel like that is the case, or understand what is going on.  We talked about faith.  We had several listening to the discussion.  When we left Friday, we gave “F” a big hug and said to have a safe journey home, in case he was gone before we would see him again.

I know this has been a lot of stuff, but like I said I felt like my mind was going into overload just so I could remember everything.  I know that I’ve forgotten something.  So, just lift them up in your prayers please by what you know, and I’ll try to keep you updated as we go along together in this journey.

Another thing we learned…at the end of the month the shelters close.  There will be at least another 300 sleeping on the streets at night according to “C”.

Sigh.

Matthew 10:28,29 (NIV)28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.

I’m reminded of the conversation with “C” aka Too-Tall, and “F”.  We were talking about God being in control.  “C” said “When you don’t understand what’s going on, that’s when you just have to have faith.”

Amen,  brother.

Getting to know you….

~ Denise ~ 1 Comment

Getting to know people can be hard.

I feel like I’m dancing or walking a fine line sometimes.  Mostly it is when I’m trying to figure out when do I ask a question, and when to keep quiet? I don’t want to seem like I’m prying, but I also want them to know that I care.

My experience has been hurting people will usually withdraw, and only share when they feel they can trust you, and then only just a piece at a time.  It is kind of a test to see what you will do with the information that they entrust you with.

Going to Finley Park and feeding the homeless, I’ve found that the more they see us, the more they will share bits and pieces of their stories.  Some will get their food and then leave right away, while others will stick around to chat.  That is one thing when someone in the group hands out the two cigarettes.  They definitely stick around to get them.  While they are waiting they will talk with us, they will eat and they will wait until we hand those out, and most times, they will stand and smoke one and talk.  It is during those standing around times, that they will share a piece of their story, talk a little more, and even ask for prayer.

I said I would share about the people that I have been meeting, and the next person that I wanted to talk about is “C”.  Well, I started this post about him on the 11th, but didn’t publish it.

Why?  Probably if I’m being real here is because then it says a little more about me that I haven’t shared.

Getting to know people can be hard.  Sharing with strangers people can be hard.

It’s uncomfortable.

This is a two-way learning experience.

2/11/11

Missed “C” last time we were there.  He usually is a fixture, always watches for us.  He will usually stay near us when we are serving and talk to us while he leans up against a pole.

I was looking for him one day and asked one of the other fellows for him and he said “you mean the crippled guy”?  I wouldn’t have described “C” that way.  I mean, yeah, he walks with a limp and has a cane, but since we’ve been going to the park, I’ve seen many of the homeless carrying canes.  I realized that while I may not have described “C” that way, I had fallen into the “seeing by not seeing land”.  The “I don’t want to ask, because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable” realm.  And then there is of course, the “I don’t want to be made uncomfortable” with the topic at hand.

Groan.

How quickly we get used to seeing things, or we see but yet don’t see?  Like, I have seen and not seen the homeless before; and here I was seeing and not seeing something again.  I always feel like I’m walking a tightrope in situations like that.  Do you ask, or not ask, how can you show you care?  My usual mode of operation is let them take the lead if they want to talk about it.

Sometimes conversation just happens.

Today, “C” talked about it to me.  We had missed him last week when we were there.  So, I mentioned that I had missed him, and he said he was at the VA hospital for a doctor’s visit.  He told me he was diagnosed with diabetes and that the doc told him that surgery wouldn’t help his knee, he had RA in it, and surgery wouldn’t fix it.  Well, my ears picked up.

Something that I haven’t talked about on this blog before is my health issues.  Well, only slightly in passing about migraines, but I have RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis).  For those of you unfamiliar with RA it is an autoimmune disease (you can find more about it here).  Pretty much it is your body attacking itself primarily in your joints, however may affect tissues and organs of which there is presently no cure.

Why don’t I talk about it?

Honestly?

RA is a weakness I have (I don’t like to be weak). RA I can’t control (I want to control it). I would prefer to ignore it unless I can’t (hello, surgery last year), or symptoms requires me to face it.   I know what the prognosis is and I don’t care to think about the possible future scenarios.   RA stops your body from doing what your mind says you can and want to do sometimes (hello, control again). RA has you making adjustments to what you can and can’t do, so that all of a sudden you realize “your normal” is not “normal” (hello, weakness again).

Mention you have RA, and usually someone will say “yeah, I have arthritis too.”  Well, it really isn’t the same, (unless they have RA) but yet they think it is and they understand.  Most of the time I just don’t bring it up.

So, we have something in common.  I talked to him about it.  I asked him if someone in his family had it.  He said no, no one had RA or diabetes.  He doesn’t know where he got it.  He wonders if it is the result of his time in the service.  He was just diagnosed last year.  So we talked about his symptoms and what he is experiencing and going through for a little bit.  He is having trouble with numbness in his legs, the stiffness, the acheness (is that a proper word? – it sure feels like it) and general overall feeling of heaviness that accompanies RA.  Pretty much you feel like you have the flu when it is flaring up that just won’t go away.  He is trying to resign himself to wearing a brace on his knee and using the cane for the rest of his life, because the doctor told him he was not a candidate for surgery.

I know, I know, I know…….but ………I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.

I know some of what he is feeling.  I know the frustrations.

But, I don’t know.

I can’t imagine having no choice but to walk the streets in the midst of a bad flare, when there isn’t any place to go.  I’m glad there are places for him to go to get help, but I can’t help but wonder if they just give the minimum care because he is homeless.   I can’t imagine being on the streets in the cold or the heat which bothers the joints.  I can’t imagine having to rouse yourself and get out of a shelter because you have to, when your body is screaming NO, I don’t want to.  I can’t imagine trying to carry most of your belongings or being forced to hold things, when your hands or fingers won’t cooperate or at any given moment not have the strength.  I can’t imagine having to walk mile after mile when your knees scream stop.

When I left today, I told him, “Now I know how to pray for you.”  You know what he said to me?

“And, now I know how to pray for you.”

2/14/11

“C” wasn’t there today.  I had wanted to ask him about his time in culinary school.  He had mentioned which one he had his degree in on our last visit, and I couldn’t remember, so I wanted to get it right before I mentioned it here.  However, he wasn’t here today.  Maybe he has a visit at the VA hospital?  That is where he was the last time we visited the park on a Monday.  When one of the “regulars” isn’t there, I find myself wondering and praying for their health and safety.  We plan on going back next Monday the 21st, hopefully “C” will be back.

2/21/11

“C” was back today.  He had been sick, that is why we hadn’t seen him.  He said he had been at the doctors, which usually means the VA hospital for him, to get some medication.  He said he didn’t come to see us when he was sick because he didn’t want to get us sick.  He said “I wouldn’t come around you guys, if I was sick, I don’t want to get you sick”.  It was a great warm day, there seemed to be more people than normal so we didn’t get quite as much time to chat.  He had a ready hand to help us unload and load the car, and seemed to be getting around well with his new knee brace.  We talked a little about his new “shave” to remove his beard.

Keep “C” in your prayers as he continues to gain his strength and battles any illnesses please, when your immune system doesn’t work right, any illness can be a drain.

His name was Bryan

~ Denise ~ 4 Comments

They were just a few moments, just a few words, just a few things.  Words of greeting.  Words of encouragement.  Food for the belly.  A scratch on a dogs head.

We were just beginning to know his story.  He had learned to trust us enough to ask for help when he felt afraid and wanted a ride to another location.

Caring and loving of his only companion, his pal, his dog.

We had been wondering how he had been doing on the streets, because with his dog, he didn’t make use of the shelters, and we had been having  some particularly cold weather.  He had talked about going back to New Mexico.

Now, he has been found, having died from a stroke, his faithful companion beside him.

I didn’t really know what exactly I would think, or who I would be talking to when we started going downtown and feeding the homeless at the park…it is sort of  something you just start doing.

I do know that a strong impression I get is they really want you to recognize them.  They like if you remember them.  I mean, don’t we all like to be remembered?  Imagine, (well, I remember when) if you are feeling down on yourself, and people don’t even look at you, or acknowledge you, it’s like ‘remember me?’ So, I have been really trying to remember their names, and the pieces of their stories they tell us.  Isn’t that how people know they are important to us, when we remember stuff about them?  We may not always get everything right, but when we put forth the effort, it means something, you know?

I’ve been learning a lot of things from my new friends.  (I’ll try to blog about that some more.)  I’ve just been thinking some though about Bryan’s last words to us.

He had asked for a ride to the interstate  because he thought he wanted to get back to New Mexico.  He talked about how pretty it was.  He talked about some other things, but when we all shook hands, his last words were  to us “God bless you”.

You know, sometimes you think you are helping people in some small ways, and they turn out they are blessing you.  You think you are being God’s hand’s and feet and maybe it’s the other way around sometimes.

Too often the assumption is made that the homeless aren’t “spiritual” or “Christian”.  Well, I’ve had some pretty “spiritual” and insightful conversations with a few individuals.  Oh, they don’t fit that pretty little box that society has for them, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be “Jesus with skin on” too.  Maybe, just maybe their ministry is walking around in that pit of despair helping those who need it.   Don’t tell them to get out of the pit, or tell them how wrong they are, maybe they are supposed to be there helping the others.  Maybe, that’s their purpose.

I am sure there is much more for me to learn from our new friends.  Right now I’m just going to remember the last moments with Bryan.  Remembering him talking with us.  Remembering his eyes.  Remembering him talking and petting his dog.  Remembering his blessing.

Operation Soup and Smokes

A great book to read about homelessness