Tag: Faith

The Promised Land

~ Denise ~ 2 Comments

Today I was lowered into a tub of water.   Renewed, refreshed, and washed cleaned.

I was 15 the first time I was baptized, young, giving my life to God as I understood him; however I was also a Jehovah’s Witness.  Being baptized as a JW means you are baptized into that cult.  At the time I didn’t fully understand the ramifications.

As I questioned the hypocrisy and the teachings of the JW’s, I moved out and disassociated myself from them in my early 20’s, however, they still considered me a JW.  The witnesses, or my parents, looked for a reason to take action against me I guess, sort of an “example”.  Often one of my parents would try to call or stop by my apartment to try to “catch me” in some sort of sin.  By the year 1984, I found myself dealing with a roller coaster of emotions.  In the Spring, the JW’s disfellowshipped/shunned me after a prompting by my father stating I was not living a Christian life to their standards.   During the early part of July, we buried my mother after a cancer battle, and my father denied my presence at the casket when JW’s approached.    Later, in October, I was married, and my father boycotted attending our wedding and my siblings felt pressured to follow his example.

I felt betrayed, abandoned, unworthy and unloved by my father and siblings.   Mainly by my father.

It took me quite a few stubborn, bitter years to acknowledge my part in any of my sins for how the JW’s have treated me.

“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us”.  1 John 1:8

It wasn’t until Oct, 1988 that I was able to reconcile my life to God, and started my spiritual awakening and understanding of Jesus Christ.

Understanding Jesus and what He has done for me was like a refreshing drink of water to a thirsty soul.

Grace a gift, freely given.

Sins, once confessed, are then forgotten.

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us”  Psalm 103:12

People, were the ones that were continually judging and condemning me, not God.  Not only could I forgive my family, I could forgive myself.  Looking back, I can see how he has used some of those desert wandering years.  One day I will understand all the pieces.

I re-affirmed my baptism in the Lutheran Church, however, I would still think about it once in a while.   The whole JW thing would still haunt me at times.   I’d talk to different pastors about it.  I was told re-baptism wasn’t necessary and/or they’d forget about it.  So, I’d stop thinking about it, for awhile.

I didn’t want to negate that I originally gave my life to YAHWEH and Jesus that I knew and loved at that time, just negate the cult.  I’d wonder:  how confusing would it be to see me doing it again, and I’d think I would have to explain my story.  For years I didn’t want to talk about my experiences with the JW’s.  See, I was in control of my story.  Who I told, and who I didn’t.

However, it started coming to my mind again.  Recently during my small group, it came up.  Actually, I brought it up, and the girls said to me, usually if God wants you to do something he will keep bringing something to your mind.   I was reminded that my understanding was a more mature understanding, not the youthful understanding I had.  I most definitely had spiritually grown.

So I deliberately prayed about it.

“Okay Lord, if this is something you want me to do, nag me about it.  Hound me about this.  I mean ALL the time, so much that I HAVE to come to a decision of either doing it or accepting I’m okay with where I am.  Resolve this for me.  I don’t want to not do this because of pride, what will people think, I want to be obedient to you, so hound me Lord.  Oh, and if it’s not too much trouble; on Sunday, let there be a message about baptism to confirm it.”

That Sunday there was a message about upcoming baptisms and Jeff talked about Jehovah’s Witnesses in his sermon.  Does God have a sense of humor or what?

These last few weeks we’ve been studying about Exodus on Sunday mornings.  The last few years I’ve been studying, reading and re-reading the Old Testament.

I don’t think this is a coincidence.  This is a God-incidence.  This is a God’s thumb print puzzle piece.

Over and over again YAHWEH asks his people – do you trust me?

Over and over again He’s asked me – do you trust me?

Time and time again he’s told His people:

Yes, you’ve seen struggle in finances, health, jobs and relationships.  My power is made perfect in weaknesses.  I am in control.

You try to control things and it never works out the way you ‘think it should’.  Dear one, I’m glad you want to help, but give in.  I am in control.

You’ve had people hurt you and others you love with sinful and unloving behavior.  I love them as much as I love you.  I am in control.

You’ve been betrayed and abandoned by people who you’ve trusted.  I was, I am, I will be.  I AM NOT LEAVING YOU.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

My JW life has been dead and gone, and now it has been washed clean from me.  My life and story is His to control as He sees fit.

I see the Promised Land.  I want to cross over.

OSS Kitchen Pondering

~ Denise ~ Leave a comment

Well the beans are soaking here for tomorrow’s New Orleans style red beans and rice to take down to the Park, and I know that Keith and Rebecca have either finished their grocery shopping or getting what they need for  spaghetti , plus Carolyn’s probably has her cornbread finished already.  There are others that help with food, paper products, monetary donations, clothing, hygiene supplies, and their help is greatly appreciated!  However, my mind is in tomorrow’s “kitchen duty” right now so please don’t be offended if your name(s) weren’t mentioned!

Lately, we have been serving @ 150 people at the Park.  I know that because I tried to take some sort of count last week to verify what we thought we have been serving.

That was interesting…….Count while trying to talk to people.

I came up with a system.   That is if you want to call it a system…….well, at least I am.   I’d mentally count off 10 people, visually try to take a “snap shot” of that person, and take an empty cup and put it in a pile.  Then when that person came up to the drink station, I’d start over again. (It worked for the most part.) 🙂  So, allowing for the occasional person that wandered in and out, and also allowing for the times that I would talk and forget to count, it put us around 145-150.

Originally we thought that when the Transitions facility opened that we would see less traffic.  So far that has not been the case.  The other thing we noticed that while we do see some familiar faces that occasionally stop by and visit, for the most part we are serving a completely different group of people.  Some have been homeless for a while, we just haven’t seen them before, and some are recently homeless.  They are just beginning to slowly talk to us.

I can give you some update on a few I’ve mentioned in the past.  Chuck has had some recent tests done on a tumor on his knee that he is awaiting results on.  He’s moved into the next stage of Transitions housing and seems to be doing well there.  Sophie & Trey stop by once in a while to say hello they tell us that they want to make sure that if they are okay for that day food-wise, they let someone else that might be hungry get their share.  John pretty much does the same thing.

I’m not exactly sure how many of the guys are staying up at Transitions and still stop down and visit us on Mondays.  We enjoy seeing them, it gives us a chance to catch up on each others lives. They still need our help as far as we’re concerned.  The lunch they get at Transitions is a light lunch if they eat there, and they enjoy the home-cooked food we serve.  Personally, we think it’s the company!  🙂

I was surprised to hear one of the guys say that some of the area churches were actually telling  them that they couldn’t eat at their “soup kitchens” if they were staying at Transitions because they weren’t considered “homeless” anymore.   I thought that was really a sad statement.  The whole point of the facility was to give the homeless a place to get on their feet and to assist them as a community along with the support of the community.

I don’t find that being Biblical.  Just saying.

Maybe that’s why it seems to be taking a little longer to build up trust.  I don’t know.

Then I’m reminded I don’t need to know the “why’s” and the “what not’s”.

I just need to do what I can.

Show His love.

So, soak on beans……

Post A Week Topic…Well what do you know!

~ Denise ~ 2 Comments

As I’ve mentioned, before, I’ve been part of this Post A Week experiment, and they send these topics to you to help give you ideas to blog about.  I’ve seen many good ones, just haven’t gotten around to writing about some of them.  Well the topic the other day that came across my phone was “Should you help the homeless?“….my first reaction…

Well, duh…

If you have been following this blog, you pretty much know where I stand on the topic…

Then I had to really think about how much my thoughts and opinions have changed about the homeless over the last years.  God certainly has been working inside me!

So, I realize that this topic is something that will create much discussion.  This is a good thing!  The more blogs I’ve been reading, the more I see God at work in the homeless community.  I see His name praised and glory given to Him through the trials and valleys.

These scriptures came to mind, as I was thinking of this topic:

Matthew 22:34:40

34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

The second greatest  commandment:  Love your neighbor as yourself.

If we are really seeing the homeless, then how can we not help the homeless?

How we help is our choice.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support with Operation Soup and Smokes!  This past week we served over 135 at the park!  We saw some people that we haven’t seen for awhile, heard that some have moved to be with family, some are in temporary housing, and unfortunately some in trouble.  We will continue on helping as we can, one bowl, one smile, one conversation, one friendship.  We have always had enough to serve everyone.  God has been faithful!  Yeah God!

4-27 Tapestry

~ Denise ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes I get anxious to see the other side of the tapestry.  All I can see are the knots.  And there have been some big knots.  I mean when the threads of our lives have woven and inter-woven so many times and it looks like one big jumbled mess, I’d just like to see what the final picture looks like.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

I get that, but I have to admit that sometimes I struggle with my little mustard seed of faith when I see the jumble of threads and knots.

I could pretend that I have it all together all the time, and don’t have questions and struggle with things.

But who would I be kidding?

Not my family, not my friends.  Not anyone who really knows me.

I was pondering and feeling more than a little inadequate with my little mustard seed of faith about the matter, when I opened my emails and happened upon my daily devotion for the day:

John 3:27 we find a simple but powerful truth, “God in heaven appoints each person’s work” (NLT). John explained that because God had given him his work, he had to continue it until God called him to do something else. Amos raised sheep until God called him to be a prophet proclaiming God’s message to others. If you are following God’s blueprint for your life, your job is part of your life plan and you are successful. God can and will work through you to do extraordinary things, no matter how “ordinary” your occupation may be in the eyes of man.

I know there are days when the will of God seems completely wrong and we do not understand. We are treading water, desperately longing to see Him walking on the treacherous waves toward us, rescue in His hand. It is in those shadowed moments that we must choose to trust the Plan Maker because His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. One day, every one of our question marks will be yanked into exclamation points as we see that high plan as He sees it – perfect! – Mary Southerland (Girlfriends in God)

Here was a message that I needed to hear, delivered at the right time.  I don’t know why it still surprises me when that happens.  Instead of focusing on the knots, I need to focus on the beauty of the individual threads and colors.  I need to be thankful for the gifts and abilities that He has given, and trust Him to guide my steps and decisions.

I know this.  I just need to be reminded sometimes.