Tag: blog

Second Nature

~ Denise ~ 4 Comments

I have this habit that I didn’t realize I had.  Craig pointed it out a while back.  Then I started noticing it.

It is I guess a sort of self-soothing, thinking, unaware thing I do when I’m lost in thought, anxious, bored, reminiscing or what not.

Usually it involves just my left hand, but I have been known to do it with both hands.

What is it?

I rub my thumb between my second and third fingers in a back and forth motion, generally across my nail, in an absent mind sort of way.

Once this was pointed out to me, I tried to pay attention to when I did it or the occasions I did it.  It seems to be something I do when I am deep in thought and definitely a tactile means of self-soothing.

I wondered for a bit why I did this.  I wondered was this something I learned by observation. All the while, rubbing my fingers.

I had this nagging feeling that I had seen the behavior somewhere.  A sort of comfort behavior.

Then I remembered this picture.

Grandmom deep in thought while we were probably driving to Maine.
Grandmom deep in thought while we were probably driving to Maine.
Here is the same finger pose. Pensive thinking, fingers ready.

I love this picture.

This person I loved with all my heart.

When I rub my fingers now, I also remember my Grandmother.

I’m connected to her again.  I remember her love.

Sigh.

Rub. Rub. Rub.

It’s self-soothing when you miss someone.

I am now on a mission to discover how many family members inherited this trait or learned this behavior.

So far I’ve found two more.  🙂

Blogging Toddler

~ Denise ~ 1 Comment

Two years.   I can’t believe it has been that long.

Two years since I’ve started blogging.

There is a sort of comfort about writing and releasing it out “into the unknown”.  Most recently I’ve “unplugged” the link to my Facebook page when I publish a post.  I may go back now and then and decide to post one there, however, for the most part they won’t go there.

This seems to go against all the blogging advice for a “better audience”.    I’ve been thinking however, that mostly any family and friends that are interested in what I’m writing already visit this site…and well the other friends I have on Facebook are either not interested or very busy, so why should I continue to clog up their newsfeeds?

My blog has been more personal than my Facebook page.  There is a sort of comfort about writing and releasing it out “into the unknown”.     In some ways that makes no sense, and in another way that makes perfect sense.  Well, at least it does to me.

So, I’ve made the change.

Got some other changes to talk about.

Bear with me on the timing.

What I’m Reading Wednesday

~ Denise ~ 6 Comments

In my effort to be a consistent blogger and keep up my personal blogging challenge, I’ve decided on a few blogging categories to help me.

These are the ones I’ve selected so far:

Memory Mondays

Tuesday Treasures

What I’m Reading Wednesdays

I was wondering what I wanted to highlight for my first ‘What I’m Reading Wednesday’ out of all that I’ve been reading this week.  I’ve been reading a lot of good ones, but I just had to share this one today.

candycoatedreality is someone that I have just started to follow.  For some reason, she happen to find my blog so I went and checked out her blog (yeah, that’s how this community works).  When I did, I saw her post on “Mayhem”, (another great read) to be followed by the post that I’ve selected.  I thought, ‘This is such a good post’, and has written about what is at the heart of every writer, wanting ones words to make a difference.

This is the post here:  Shine a Light

Our words are powerful, we may not know at the moment how they will impact the receiver.

My desire is to have my words bring Him glory.

Lord, use my words to draw hearts to you.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Blogging Community

~ Denise ~ 6 Comments

A while back I posted about the topic of  Community.  I wrote about the community of friends that we have met while feeding the homeless in Finlay Park.  This community has touched our lives just as much as we have hoped to help them.  It is a community that continues to exist, some members entering and exiting based upon what season they are in their lives, not shrinking though, ever growing.  What a blessing to be a part of!

There is another community that continues to grow around me that I’ve been blessed with.  That is my blogging community, one that continually surprises me by the depth of writing, the humor, splendid photography, encouragement, words of wisdom and just plain fun!

I am still trying to find time have a regular schedule of posting at least twice a week.  Somehow, either my journal pages don’t make it to the “publish” button or I’m off doing something else.   Still trying.  I can get distracted.  (I blame it on the meds, or menopause, or both.)

Where was I going with this…..

Oh, now I remember…….

So, I was surprised the other day when Sue over at Letters to Rosa nominated me for the Sisterhood Award!  What a treat!

However, it reminded me that I had neglected to properly thank and follow the “necessary protocol” for the Versatile Blogger award that Patrecia (a.k.a) Miss Whiplash awarded me.  What a ninny I have been for being so lax!

Now, as I have mentioned before I can be “a little” OCD about things.  When I can’t complete a “necessary checklist”  to the “proper specifications” I can have the tendency to procrastinate sort of let it go if not careful.

I like to think I am getting wiser as I get older, (at least that is what I tell anyone who will listen to me) – so I am not looking for the “necessary checklist” for the Versatile Blogger award and am just using the one for the Sisterhood Award, thus making the following changes:

Tell 7 things about yourself, nominate/recommend 7 bloggers.

Here are 7 bloggers to check out:

1.  I’m nominating Miss Whiplash for the Sisterhood Award.  Her blog title says it all “I’ve Been Thinking About“.  I like that so much that it is hard not to “borrow” it as a post title on a regular basis!  What a treat to read her posts!  She was one of the first bloggers that I really started following, and I’ve never been disappointed.

2 & 3.   I’m nominating Sue for the Versatile Blogger Award.  I’ve just recently started following her blogs.  She has two!  Check them both out, particularly if you like tails from Vermont and stories from family history.  You can find her at SueBahr.com and Letters to Rosa.

4.  Want to travel to far off places?  Have visual treats of color presented to you?  Stop by A Word in Your Ear and see what the Skinnywench has to show you!

5.  Need more?  Visit Patrick Latter Photographer at Canadian Hiking Photography for more gorgeous shots.

6.  A new blog I’ve started following is Being Fifty-Something.  If Sheryl didn’t have me at the title, she sure had me hooked at her “Why?” page.  But, I mean “Being Fifty-Something?”, is that not appropriate for me? (snort).  I’m nominating her for the Versatile Blogger Award.

7.  For some new bloggers on the scene I’m nominating Carmen and Grace for the Sisterhood Award.  They blog about sweet things…cupcakes, cookies, cakes, and books!  They are teaching the community that reading can be sweet.  You can find them at Reading & Sweeting.

If you want to check out more blogs, you can always check out my page; Bloggers I Follow.  I try to add to them as I add people that I follow.  There is no order of preference, just generally the order I started following them.

Now, for the 7 things about myself, in case you were wondering about all that…..

1.  I had Amish neighbors growing up.  When I was a child there was a sweet Amish lady named Lydia that help my Mom and even went with us on some of our family trips to Maine.

2.  My Great Grandmother taught me to play the piano when I was 5 on her upright piano.  I still remember the last song she taught me before she died.

3.  I have the piano stool from that upright piano.  My butt sits on it almost everyday at my vanity table.

4.  I almost drowned in our family pool pretending to be a mermaid.

5.  My favorite flowers are tulips, followed closely by lily of the valley.  Guess what my favorite Season is?

6.  My Mother wanted to call me Wendy, but my Dad thought I could get the nickname “Windy” for talking too much.  They chose Denise instead.  My school report cards had “talks too much” on them.   Apparently, the name selection didn’t effect the behavior.

7.  I like your comments.  I do, I really do.  I really appreciate all of you stopping by and reading and commenting on my blog!  Thanks for the encouragement!  I’ll try to answer questions left in comments in future posts or reply to your comments.  Thanks again!

Bloggers…Getting Real

~ Denise ~ 9 Comments

I was following a blog that was both encouraging and informative.  The posts dealt with her Mother’s battle with  Alzheimers Disease.  Right now, I don’t know someone battling that, but I do have a dear friend who cares for her mother-in-law that battles dementia.   I thought the authors posts were well written and would find humor, encouragement and interest in what she would say.  I say her posts “dealt” with because she doesn’t blog anymore.  She had to stop because of “prying internet eyes”.  I don’t know what her past mistakes were that made her feel she must stop, I’m not judging her.  I know what she is today, by her words and the love she shows to her family.  Besides, I have my own past and mistakes.  Don’t we all?  “We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”.   I miss Sally’s posts.   And I often wonder how her Mother is doing.

My blog posts before they make it to WordPress, generally start out written by hand,  in a spiral journal, scribbled hastily, crossed out if using pen, erased if in pencil, sometimes with extra notes, written exactly the way they are in my head, even if it doesn’t make sense….even to me.  The erasers and cross-outs happen when I read what I wrote.  Sometimes that’s a big mistake, my mind goes off in a whole other direction!

Some don’t make it here.  Well, truth be told….

A lot, don’t make it here.

I am still keenly aware of unknown “eyes” reading what I write.  Well, while I realize there isn’t probably hardly anybody reading what I write, there is always the possibility of “someone” being able to read it.  Most of the time I don’t even know who that “someone” is.

Look, I know my English and Grammar isn’t the best.  I know there are great blogs with “Helpful Hints” and posts to help and all that.  Honestly, I read them.  I do.  However, I don’t want to be an English Major.  If I write, it is because I just want to write.  I do try to do a semi-decent job of “dot the i’s and all that”, but I’m not publishing a book here.  If I was, I’d want an editor for that!  It’s that old “people-pleasing” tendency that rears it’s ugly head, when I don’t post something because I fear what people might think.  Well, there, that’s full disclosure there for ya!

Those “internet eyes”.

There is this underlying tendency (that at least I have) that I want to be transparent, but  pride sometimes just gets in the way of completely baring it all.

So, if I can’t be completely transparent on here, then I don’t post something I have in my journal.    It’s not like I’ve written some great mystery or scandal or something, it is usually when I get in a funk and have that “write what I’m thinking about saying to someone” discussion who has hurt me even if I haven’t seen them in a long time.  I might have written words in anger or written words that do more harm than good, so what would be the point of that?  Especially when I know the person I’m writing about probably wouldn’t read it anyway.  That is when it is better to just lay those words at His feet.

I wonder if other bloggers feel the same way?  It’s hard to blog about your life.  It’s hard to be real about your life and talk about the lessons you’ve learned without talking about people in specifics.    A little while ago I posted about a blogger that is real specific about her family.  They aren’t speaking now.”Disowned” were her words.  I hope that they can reach some reconciliation.  I find there is such a fine line walking with our words honestly and still seeking to be loving in their delivery.  We are all a screwed up bunch of people hopefully trying to become what we are supposed to be.  Anybody that says they got it all together is either lying to you, themselves, or both.

It’s much easier to write about other things.  Things that aren’t personal.  Is that why there are many “how to”, “pet themed”, “travel”, or other “none personal”  blogs?   Life is the theme for me.  I read about all those other things, and I’ll even post about them sometimes, but I’m drawn to the personal.  I’m drawn to the community of those being real.

How do I pick the blogs I follow?  I have no rhyme or reason.  I might be drawn to it on WordPress by the title or a picture.  Someone might like a post of mine, I’ll check theirs out, someone I know blogs,  or I’ll find it on Pinterest.  Why I stay with blogs is for a reason.  I stay with blogs for content, information, enjoyment, and/or the encouragement.

Here are just some of the blogs I follow and why.  Stop by their pages, I’m sure my fellow bloggers will enjoy having you visit!

I really enjoy reading what is happening in Bulgaria with Patrecia a.k.a Miss Whiplash at I’ve Been Thinking About….  She seems to have mastered being able to  laugh at the “internet eyes” and posts what she is thinking about.  I feel like I am sitting in Bulgaria with her having a “cuppa” tea and a good old chat.  When she doesn’t post, I worry that she is alright.

For information on helpful hints, organization, cleaning and other assorted things, I read Jillee’s posts on  OneGoodThing.

A new urban farm and homesteading blog is Dirty Goat Farm.  Rebecca & Keith (names you may recall from Operation Soup & Smokes) blog about their farm, homemade laundry products, canning and other stuff.  Rebecca blogs the way she talks, I can vouch for that….I like that.

Mark at  Docmarks Place Blog and Jeanne over at Jeanne’s Blog…A Nola Girl At Heart are great places for words of encouragement.  More than once their words have matched my own devotional reading.  I love it when God does that!  Jeanne also has some great ideas for around the home and posts beautiful pictures and links to some great music.

Because of our interest in feeding the homeless, I follow Saints on the Street, a blog about a homeless ministry in Fort Wayne, Indiana.  The names and location may be different, but the need is the same.

I visit my friend Courtney to read about life with a larger family and some cute munchkins at Life on Courtney Lane.

I just recently started following two new bloggers so I can hopefully help encourage them to continue.  They are going to post about cupcakes/baking and reading.  You can check Carmen and Grace out at Reading and Sweeting.  I mean cupcakes and stuff…yum!  I get hungry for one when I look at them!  I’m looking forward to seeing what they write.

There are some other bloggers I follow that haven’t posted for a while, I’ll be happy to give them a shout-out when they post again or let you know when I find some other great ones!

Most if not all of the blogs I follow weave their lives into their posts.  They encourage me to continue to do the same.  So, I guess I’ll keep scribbling my posts, striving to be transparent.  You can’t get “right” about something until you are “real” about it “internet eyes” and all.

Here’s to the life story bloggers!  Happy blogging!

Just Some Words?

~ Denise ~ 2 Comments

Compassion –  definition of compassion:  sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it

On Thursday I drafted a post (which I’m now glad I didn’t post) about a blog that I stumbled upon around a year.  My original draft included a link to the blog; fellow bloggers like ping-backs and the recognition.  I’ve decided against naming the blog because of their recent post which was put up and then removed.

This blogger writes about their life after losing their job and returning to living with their parents.  Some posts I find down right funny.  The posts are well written.  Some posts I find sad.  I can feel the writer’s pain.  Some posts I wonder, even if there is a fictional aspect to the material, how the blogger’s parents (particularly the Mother) would feel if she read the blog.  I guess it is because I am slightly older, okay, middle age, fine, in my mid-50’s and probably close to the blogger’s mother’s age than I’d like to think about.  There have been times when I’ve wondered how would I feel if I knew my children were saying things like that about me?  I would be very hurt.  It’s like I want to know the rest of the story, why do they act the way they do?

Sometimes the way the blogger makes fun of them is well, just plain mean.  But that is just what I think at times.  I often think of the expression “hurting people, hurt people”.

I noticed last night the blogger wrote a post that their parents found out about their blog.  The blogger is trying to produce a web series and a family member posted about it.  Surprise, their parents found out about it.   Their post said it was “weird” at the house and their parents weren’t talking to them.  There were about 7 comments from people saying things like “no big deal”, “what is the harm” “it is comedy” things along those lines.  I rarely comment on that blog.  I choose to yesterday.  I could feel the pain of all of them.  I wanted to help in some way.  I prayed for the right words.  Sometimes, I’m not sure if I “hear” right or if I’m just going off in my own direction.  I finally just sent this off with a prayer:

Comedy can be funny, or it can be mean and is left up to the reader to discern.  Only you know the intentions behind your words.  Only you can explain what you meant to your parents or they are left to their own assumptions.  Talk to them and it won’t be weird anymore.  Don’t worry they will still give you lots of material.  🙂

Words spoken in anger, and hurt can not be taken back and always have consequences.  Words are powerful and accountable.

…For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.  The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.  But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken.  For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. – Matt. 12:14-37

I think about words that I have spoken in anger and hurt over the course of my life, and will probably be guilty of doing again. How about those thoughts, or words in my head, left unspoken, but heard by God?  Sigh.  None of us are exempt.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  1 John 1:8

Thankfully, there is forgiveness and peace for all who seek it.

This blogger reminds me to keep a watch over my words.

Search me, O God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.  Psalm 139:23-24

Thank you Jesus for forgiving me when I need it.  Thank you Jesus for all you have done for me/us.

I pray for Him to be known, really known in that family.  I pray for them to experience His peace.   My prayer is also for whomever reads this to experience His peace.