Category: OSS

Operation Soup & Smokes Visit

~ Denise ~ 1 Comment

Wow…what a difference in the weather from the previous visit.  The sun was shining with temperatures in the low 70’s.  We expect high 80’s this week!

Met two guys who had just arrived the previous night after walking six days from the coast.  Craig asked if they would like something to eat, they said “man, we’re just thankful for anything!”.  Six days of walking!  Can you imagine yourself doing that?

We also met another gentlemen new to the area from another part of the state.  He came up to us when we started to unload the car, and helped.  He stayed around listening to everyone talking.  He started talking to me about how God puts people in your life when you need them.  He said he just began to realize that now that he is older, (he just turned 50).  Haha older, we joked about that for a bit. He said his mother was a religious person, she didn’t get to church much, but she talked about it at home.  He said he had a “Bible for dummies, well it wasn’t called that, it was one of those study Bibles, but it helped him a lot”.  I laughed and told him I had one of those too, and yes, they did help a lot!

We spent some time talking with Levi and Jason, both whose ministry is walking closely with the homeless.  Jason is in transition housing and asks for your prayers as he is actively seeking to be an ordained minister.   He is, to put it in his words, “following Levi’s foot steps as he walks with Christ”.  They both can become discouraged at times when they feel “under attack” and ask that you pray for them.

Carolyn, Levi, Jason, Denise

Right now we decide when we are returning to the park – while we are at the park.  That’s because we usually can coordinate everyone’s schedule then.  People hang around talking and ask when we will be back.

We had decided that we would be returning again on Wednesday.  I called out to John to let him know that we would be back on Wednesday.  He said, “Thanks for telling me”, gave me a hug and then said “I’ll miss you guys till then.”  I told him “Why thanks John, we’ll miss seeing you too.”  He came up and hugged me again and said “I love you”.  I told him, “John, I love you too.”

It continues to be humbling how a simple act of kindness, whether it is a bite of food, a kind word, listening ear or just plain genuine interest means so much to some.  Being there, just seeing, being present in the moment, can make a difference.

I read this line recently in a book:

To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.   – Brandi Snyder

If I can be the one person who shows Christ’s love in a life, then let me be that one person.

The more that I see and read you can tell that God is working in big ways in the homeless community all over the States, and in other countries.  Please continue to keep all in your prayers!

Blessings!

OSS Update

~ Denise ~ 3 Comments

First, let me give my apologies for not reporting on last Wednesday’s trip to Finlay park before now.   It was just one of those weeks.

Wednesday was a really dreary, rainy, damp day.  (I know, what a lot of adjectives) Rainy days have a way of dampening the spirits, and it certainly doesn’t help when you are also operating on a serious lack of sleep due to a bout of insomnia.  I know that while we were driving to the park, I was praying to myself, “please God, let me be an encouragement to those in need today, even while I feel so spent inside”.

We arrived and unloaded the cars under the pavilion to protect everything from the rain.  There certainly weren’t as many as the Friday before, but still we served around 50 or more.  Some had arrived as early as 8:30 a.m. to get there before the downpour to keep their things as dry as possible.  We had lasagna, chili, vegetable beef soup, cookies and brownies available.  With the rain and a slightly smaller group than the Friday before, there was the opportunity for seconds and thirds if needed.  We don’t ever seem to have any leftovers.  We thought there was going to be some chili left over, but when we loaded up the cars, a man came over to get a few bowls for himself and his two children, two more stopped, next thing….Marlo’s chili…..gone.

Our “regular” friends were there.  They laugh when we call them by their nicknames now.  There’s Chuck “Too Tall”, Jerry “Green Hornet” and Robert ”Big Bird”.  Their spirits were pretty good considering the weather, and the need to make new living arrangements since the shelter was closing.

We got to visit with Dawn and Ernie before they prepare to leave for Ohio.  Robert “Big Bird” is going with them, and we may see him one more time before they leave.  Dawn and Ernie we will not see until they return in six months.  They will be working with a carnival.  This is something that they do every year, and then they return as Dawn’s children and mother live here in the area.  Dawn has been able to eat, however, they have been anxious because someone has been threatening Dawn’s life.  They received money from their employer in Ohio to stay in a hotel prior to leaving, so this past Wednesday was the last day we would see them for a while.  Dawn was emotional, and they stayed at the park as long as we were there.  When we were packed up, Ernie shook hands and thanked Rebecca and Marlo for “starting this thing”.  It was a bittersweet goodbye, as Rebecca and her family will be moving and Ernie and Dawn know that they will not be seeing them when they return.

It was one of those days where I really just had such mixed feelings.  I didn’t know if I was making a difference or not.  I sensed sadness in those leaving, yet I had also shared some laughs with some others.  I knew Ernie and Dawn were in a situation that I couldn’t really help with.  Sometimes you just feel helpless.  And I was thinking, if I feel helpless, what do they feel?  You know how when you are tired, you just question yourself and how you’re doing?  That’s where I was.

That’s also when God speaks….if I’m willing to listen, if I’m willing to see and hear.  If the heart is open.

Jason, had been talking with me awhile about how much our ministry meant to him.  He said that he might not see us next week, because he had a pretty good job interview.  Before he left, he had shook my hand, and then I gave him a hug.  He started walking away, and looked back at me sideways and said “Keep doing God’s work, I love you.”

I have to tell you at first it surprised me.  And, then I was reminded again of a lesson:  why do I keep thinking that we are the only one’s that are “doing God’s work here?”  Here are some men and women walking with God, in their own ways showing Jesus’ love, they just happen to be homeless.  I was forgetting Jason’s walk with Christ, and how we can all help and encourage each other.

I went there to encourage and became someone who was ministered too.

Open the eyes of my heart Lord……….and keep them open.

Friday OSS Report

~ Denise ~ 3 Comments

Yesterday was quite a busy day at the park.  There were easily over 100 people that came through the line for food.  We know we went through at least 130 bowls if not more.

I get busy serving and talking to everyone, and I will glance up and look at the line, and I think it is sooo long, I hope that we have enough.  I am usually looking for faces that get back in line for “seconds” and then I know that pretty much we have served everyone at least once.  On a whole, the group is good about making sure “first timers” will get their share, before they get a second serving.

Yesterday we had lasagna, vegetable beef soup, bean and ham soup, banana cream pudding and cookies.  I was wondering about our food supply, when Joy a volunteer with another group that we’ve met came and joined us with a big supply  of egg salad, and tuna with egg salad.  They had received a donation of hard boiled eggs and so she made the salads and brought it to the park.  (We have been telling the other group which day we are going to the park so that this group can serve some homeless at a different location, and that way together we are able to help more people.) Well, Joy’s salads certainly added to what we had, and we literally had nothing left when we were finished.

God certainly does provide.

As for an update on our friends:

Dawn and Ernie elected not for Dawn to have the surgery on her throat.  I talked with them on Thursday, as we were planning on visiting her in the hospital.  I had seen all Dawn’s necessary hospital paperwork so that I could get in to see her, so I knew where to go and what they were expecting to do.  Ernie said Dawn had been able to eat some soft foods earlier in the week, and that they were planning on going to Ohio for some work and they didn’t want the surgery to set them back.   He told me he knew a lot of people were praying for them and “maybe them prayers are working”.  The hospital still wants to proceed with the surgery to correct the situation, however, they are not doing it at this time.  They are planning on leaving the first week in April, and will be gone for around 6 months and then return.  Dawn’s children and mother are here, so they will return.   This is one of those times that I remind myself that God is in control, knows what is going on, and no matter how much compassion or empathy you have for people, you help the way you can help, and trust in Him for the rest.

Chuck received his special shoes to help with his diabetes.  He said it was like “walking on air”.  I asked about his toes, as he has two that aren’t doing too well.  He said the doctor told him the insulin medicine may take a week or so to make a difference.  Please continue to pray for Chuck’s health.

I can tell you about two newer friends that we talked with, Levi and Jason who readily shared their names.    Levi was sharing with Jason out of one of the Bibles that we have available if someone would like one.   He was talking about Psalm 69 to Jason.  I said, “Oh, the Psalms, you know what my favorite one is?  It’s Psalm 139”.  So Levi, turned to it and started reading it, and we talked about how God has know us since the beginning, is always there for us, even when we try to hide from Him, knows the words on our lips before we speak them, how fearfully and wonderfully made we are.

Jason asked me about church.  I told him about where I go, but then I told him “Jason, we come here because we want to be Jesus’ hands and feet, we want to show people His love through us.”  “It isn’t about going to a church, or going to a building.

I had remembered a conversation that Keith (one of the volunteers) repeated to me he had one day with someone at the park.  That particular individual started asking  “okay, where do you go to church”, etc.  Keith told him, and said he was welcome to come if he could get there, however, it wasn’t about that, it was about love.  Keith told me the guy told him that really struck him. (Keith, it was such a great way to express it, I’m thankful you shared it with me!)

Levi, Jason and I talked further and I said, “What I read in the scriptures, Jesus didn’t have a place to lay his head half the time, he was always on the move.  Going place to place.  He was on the streets.”  Levi said, “That is so true”.

We probably spent at least another 30 minutes or so talking along with some others that would wander in and out of our discussion.  It was a discussion that was cheerful, encouraging and uplifting.

Levi said when we left, “okay, you guys will be back Wednesday?  You know, I wasn’t going to come here today, but I’m really glad I did.”

I’m glad you did too Levi, it was great talking with you.

They left I believe energized and encouraged.  I know I did.

OSS Update

~ Denise ~ 3 Comments

I’m getting reading to go back to the park tomorrow.  Making some cookies. 🙂

Last time, I was able to take a few pictures on the way into the park without being noticed or making anyone uncomfortable.

Here we are on the street before we turn into the park, and you can see the line is already forming.

Heading to Finley Park

Here is part of the car caravan with the food and stuff!  You can also see some more people walking to join the line already formed.

“C” has given permission not only to use his name (hooray!), but also to be photographed.

Let me introduce you to our friend Chuck!

Chuck and Denise
Chuck and Denise

Continue to pray for Chuck as he deals with his diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis.  He was interested to hear about the prayers for him from my new blogging friend Miss Whiplash who even blogged about OSS on her page.  He thought it was “cool”.

“J” talking with Craig

Sorry for the “sideways” picture.  I was putting my camera away and took a few shots without realizing it.  Tee-hee.

Dawn said she would provide a picture for me of her and her boyfriend Ernie or let me take one (next time maybe?).  She showed me her paperwork for some upcoming surgery she is having on the 24th of this month.  She told me which hospital she would be in and what time the surgery would be for them to correct the damage that was done on her previous operation.  I told her I wanted to come see her in the hospital.  She was surprised, and pleased.  She made sure I saw everything I needed on her paperwork so that I could find her.  Her boyfriend Ernie was not with her as he was selling his plasma so that he could get some money for food (Ensures, or milkshakes) that she could eat for the week.  She is still only able to eat liquids.  She told me he was eating lots of peanut butter sandwiches prior to selling the plasma and that you can do that once a week.

(I was reminded of a young girl I knew a while back that had sold her blood plasma for some money to pay her bills.  It was the first time that I had heard about something like that.  It made my heart sad at the time that she felt she had to do that (it still does when I think about it).  There were some of us that rallied around her with some help.  I remember hoping that it would be enough that she didn’t ever have to do that again, and that she would come to us for help when she needed it.)

Apparently it is not uncommon for the homeless to sell their blood plasma.  It provides cash they need.   I believe they get around $30-35.  (Side note:  I was told it is also common for local college students to do the same thing).

Something to think about before picking up that casual purchase….would I give my life’s blood for it?  Hum.

While I was talking to Dawn, I kept being drawn to a petite woman sitting off to the side.  I have noticed her before, but she usually leaves quickly.  This time she was sitting close to us…sort of just hanging around.  I didn’t want to just stop talking to Dawn and be rude, so I was waiting for the right moment to leave to meet this lady.

It happens that Dawn started asking about the dog that one of the helpers took home two weeks ago.  There was a homeless man that was willing to go into rehab, but had a dog named Lucky.  Dawn, Ernie and Chuck were encouraging him to get into rehab, but he was worried about his dog.  Once he realized someone would take care of Lucky he was willing to go to rehab.  Dawn said he heard he was in rehab, but was wondering about his dog.  She was asking so she could get word back to him. So, while they were chatting about Lucky, I wandered over to meet this petite lady.

I noticed that she had a bag with some knitting needles and some yarn stuck out of it.  Well, I can knit and crochet, so this led to an opening topic.  We spoke a little about knitting.  She showed me her work, and also showed me a beautiful purse she had knit. She said she works with scrap pieces of yarn.  I asked her if she minded if I brought her some scrap balls of yarn that I had from projects.  (I usually don’t throw them away, because I think someday I’ll use them….someday usually doesn’t arrive, haha).  Anyway, she said “That would be really nice, I have not been able to purchase yarn for a while, maybe when I get back home”.  I asked her where “home” was.  She said “Germany”.

Wow, Germany.  Makes you wonder how she ended up on the streets of Columbia, South Carolina.  Maybe she’ll share her story when she feels comfortable.  I asked her name.  Let’s call her “B”.  I’m anxious to learn more about her and pray for her safety.

People were starting to pack things up and carting things off to cars.  Someone called my name.   I told her it was really nice meeting and talking with her.  She said likewise.

I turned to help pack some things, and she quietly crossed the street and disappeared up the hill.

I think that she is friends with “S” and “T” and I knew that they had gone to the library.  I hope she has someone to watch out for her on the streets.  Pray for her safety.

These trips downtown certainly can bring up memories or stir your emotions.   What a blessing and opportunity! It continues to makes me appreciate what I have, where I’ve been, what I’ve learned and look forward to what I will learn.

Blessings everyone!

Another one of those camera shots from the hip I didn’t know about! 🙂

Operation Soup and Smokes Visit

~ Denise ~ 2 Comments

We visited Finley Park again last Friday for Operation Soup and Smokes.

My brain felt like it was going into overload, trying to remember all the details when I left.

I had a few things going into the afternoon there that I wanted to remember:  touch bases with two different couples, “C”, a particular quiet individual, and look to learn some new names.

There is a couple that dresses in Harley gear, which we see quite often, and I wanted to make sure I got their names and could remember them.  They usually get their food and then go off by themselves.  So, I wanted to make sure I spoke with them.  (“S” and “T” for future use as of now.)

Then there was one of the guys who helps and is usually pretty quiet, and I wanted to catch his name.   He reminds me in build of Bryan, and sometimes has the same sad look on his face.

There is another couple, which has been a fixture from the beginning, however, had been missing for a while.  We had went looking for them when Bryan died, because she had been quite upset when we gave Bryan a ride, and wanted to make sure he was going somewhere safe.  After we read about Bryan’s passing in the paper, Craig went to the park, but couldn’t find them.  We found out later that she was in the hospital, and had to have surgery.

For the last two weeks, she was telling me about her surgery (partial hysterectomy), and how the breathing tube they used had damaged her throat and then the medications they gave her had given her an allergic reaction and burned her throat.  She has been unable to eat any solid foods for weeks.   She has been just sipping the broth from any soups that we take.  Friday, I took a big coffee mug filled with chicken broth, as I wasn’t sure what she would be able to have out of what was available.  She said she has been drinking bouillon, some baby food, and that her mother visited her and gave her some Ensure’s.  She has lost over 40 lbs in a month.   Even with the multiple layers of clothing, it has been evident to us that she is losing weight rapidly.

She came back to talk to me two or three times on Friday.  I told her that we were praying for her, and that more would pray for her.  I told her about this page, and I asked if I could use her name, so you could pray for her by name if you’d like.  Her name is Dawn.

When she was finished with her broth, she brought back the coffee mug to me, and talked to me a little more about her mother visiting her.  She hadn’t wanted to worry her mother.  She also wants to be able to see her children.  We talked about other things that she might be able to eat like baby food and what might have the right vitamins.  She mentioned that she has been unable to take her seizure medicine as the pill is too large and she cannot get the liquid form.  (It is these little side comments that tell us more and more).

Seizure medicine.  Sigh.

I just felt such a burden for her inside, recovering from surgery, living with seizures, not being able to eat, living on the streets.  The list seemed endless.  Dawn is a petite woman, and I just felt compelled to keep hugging her, and just said out loud “Jesus, please look after my friend, Dawn”.  (I confess I had a knot in my throat when I said that, and my voice was more than a little quivery.) She was hugging me back, but quickly looked up at me, with a surprised sweet smile.  That is when I told her that I was praying for her, and about this blog, and that others would pray for her too.  She said she could use all the prayers she could get.  She wandered off again.

That is one thing that I notice.  Conversations happen in pieces.  They are constantly in motion.  Like they can’t relax and stay in one place too long.

In another conversation, I learn about being “warned” for “camping” at the park.  You only get two warnings.  The third time, you are arrested.  Then if you can’t pay the $250 fine, you have to stay in jail.  When you are in jail, then you can’t check into the shelter.  When you don’t check in the shelter, they put all your stuff in the dumpsters.

Now I understand the constant motion, and why I see hats pulled low sometimes, or hoods pulled up, and then lowered.  Conversations starting, stopping, and starting again.  Everyone seems to wear dark sunglasses.  I guess the better to watch, without being watched.

I learn that sometimes they will call the police on each other.   I learned that now that the weather is warming up they have been getting more warnings.  In fact when we had arrived, there was a police car there.  We had jumped out of our cars just like normal, and started setting up, and I wasn’t sure if he was going to come and talk to us or not.  But, our friends came over, helped unload the cars, tables were set up, food put on the table, line started, and off we went.  I didn’t see the car leave, we were too busy serving.

On one of the occasions Dawn and I were talking “C” brought over a sweater out of the clothing that we had available.  He said “Dawn, here is something that you could probably use”.  She replied, “Thanks, Too-Tall”.  So that tells you a little more about “C”, he really is tall.  🙂  We are starting to learn their nicknames for each other.  So far, “Too Tall”, “Green Hornet” and “Big Bird” are some that we have heard.

I also spent some time with “C”.  (I’m going to see if he will let me mention his name.  I believe he will, but I want to make sure.) “C” aka “Too-Tall” seems to know everyone’s name, even though the others seem to use the nicknames.  I asked about his rheumatoid arthritis and his diabetes.   He said at the last doctor’s visit when the doctor probed his feet, he really didn’t feel it.  That isn’t a good sign when you have diabetes.  He said he also has been having some cramping in his legs.   He said his knee brace has been working fine, his cane he might not need as much anymore.  He kidded that he was using it to pull “F” up the hills.

“F” is the guy that I mentioned in beginning that is quiet.  He is always quick to help us unload the car.  “F” may or may not be there this coming Friday.  “C” said he is trying to get him to go home to NC.  He has a home to go to.  “C” said “F, you have a home to go to, you need to get back there, I don’t have a home to go to”.  “F” was melancholy.  He was missing his baby sister who died from diabetes.  “C” talking about his doctor’s visit, got him to thinking about it.  He told me how much he loved his sister, and missed her.  He told me that she was a Christian, and he knew she was in Heaven.  He said he had been working here in Columbia, but had gone home for her funeral, and when he came back here, didn’t work very long before he was layed off.  Since he hadn’t been working 60 days, he wasn’t able to get unemployment.  He took out a battered wallet and showed me a picture of his sister that looked like it had gotten wet, and was really faded.  He said, “This is the only picture I have of her, and it isn’t very good”.  I told him, “you have a picture of her, here”, and pointed to his heart.  He said “yes, I loved her.”  Then he showed me pictures of his children.  It was a beautiful family picture of 5 children.  He pointed to the oldest girl, and said that is my daughter, that I’m going to see.   The three of us talked a bit about God being in control, even when we don’t feel like that is the case, or understand what is going on.  We talked about faith.  We had several listening to the discussion.  When we left Friday, we gave “F” a big hug and said to have a safe journey home, in case he was gone before we would see him again.

I know this has been a lot of stuff, but like I said I felt like my mind was going into overload just so I could remember everything.  I know that I’ve forgotten something.  So, just lift them up in your prayers please by what you know, and I’ll try to keep you updated as we go along together in this journey.

Another thing we learned…at the end of the month the shelters close.  There will be at least another 300 sleeping on the streets at night according to “C”.

Sigh.

Matthew 10:28,29 (NIV)28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.

I’m reminded of the conversation with “C” aka Too-Tall, and “F”.  We were talking about God being in control.  “C” said “When you don’t understand what’s going on, that’s when you just have to have faith.”

Amen,  brother.

Getting to know you….

~ Denise ~ 1 Comment

Getting to know people can be hard.

I feel like I’m dancing or walking a fine line sometimes.  Mostly it is when I’m trying to figure out when do I ask a question, and when to keep quiet? I don’t want to seem like I’m prying, but I also want them to know that I care.

My experience has been hurting people will usually withdraw, and only share when they feel they can trust you, and then only just a piece at a time.  It is kind of a test to see what you will do with the information that they entrust you with.

Going to Finley Park and feeding the homeless, I’ve found that the more they see us, the more they will share bits and pieces of their stories.  Some will get their food and then leave right away, while others will stick around to chat.  That is one thing when someone in the group hands out the two cigarettes.  They definitely stick around to get them.  While they are waiting they will talk with us, they will eat and they will wait until we hand those out, and most times, they will stand and smoke one and talk.  It is during those standing around times, that they will share a piece of their story, talk a little more, and even ask for prayer.

I said I would share about the people that I have been meeting, and the next person that I wanted to talk about is “C”.  Well, I started this post about him on the 11th, but didn’t publish it.

Why?  Probably if I’m being real here is because then it says a little more about me that I haven’t shared.

Getting to know people can be hard.  Sharing with strangers people can be hard.

It’s uncomfortable.

This is a two-way learning experience.

2/11/11

Missed “C” last time we were there.  He usually is a fixture, always watches for us.  He will usually stay near us when we are serving and talk to us while he leans up against a pole.

I was looking for him one day and asked one of the other fellows for him and he said “you mean the crippled guy”?  I wouldn’t have described “C” that way.  I mean, yeah, he walks with a limp and has a cane, but since we’ve been going to the park, I’ve seen many of the homeless carrying canes.  I realized that while I may not have described “C” that way, I had fallen into the “seeing by not seeing land”.  The “I don’t want to ask, because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable” realm.  And then there is of course, the “I don’t want to be made uncomfortable” with the topic at hand.

Groan.

How quickly we get used to seeing things, or we see but yet don’t see?  Like, I have seen and not seen the homeless before; and here I was seeing and not seeing something again.  I always feel like I’m walking a tightrope in situations like that.  Do you ask, or not ask, how can you show you care?  My usual mode of operation is let them take the lead if they want to talk about it.

Sometimes conversation just happens.

Today, “C” talked about it to me.  We had missed him last week when we were there.  So, I mentioned that I had missed him, and he said he was at the VA hospital for a doctor’s visit.  He told me he was diagnosed with diabetes and that the doc told him that surgery wouldn’t help his knee, he had RA in it, and surgery wouldn’t fix it.  Well, my ears picked up.

Something that I haven’t talked about on this blog before is my health issues.  Well, only slightly in passing about migraines, but I have RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis).  For those of you unfamiliar with RA it is an autoimmune disease (you can find more about it here).  Pretty much it is your body attacking itself primarily in your joints, however may affect tissues and organs of which there is presently no cure.

Why don’t I talk about it?

Honestly?

RA is a weakness I have (I don’t like to be weak). RA I can’t control (I want to control it). I would prefer to ignore it unless I can’t (hello, surgery last year), or symptoms requires me to face it.   I know what the prognosis is and I don’t care to think about the possible future scenarios.   RA stops your body from doing what your mind says you can and want to do sometimes (hello, control again). RA has you making adjustments to what you can and can’t do, so that all of a sudden you realize “your normal” is not “normal” (hello, weakness again).

Mention you have RA, and usually someone will say “yeah, I have arthritis too.”  Well, it really isn’t the same, (unless they have RA) but yet they think it is and they understand.  Most of the time I just don’t bring it up.

So, we have something in common.  I talked to him about it.  I asked him if someone in his family had it.  He said no, no one had RA or diabetes.  He doesn’t know where he got it.  He wonders if it is the result of his time in the service.  He was just diagnosed last year.  So we talked about his symptoms and what he is experiencing and going through for a little bit.  He is having trouble with numbness in his legs, the stiffness, the acheness (is that a proper word? – it sure feels like it) and general overall feeling of heaviness that accompanies RA.  Pretty much you feel like you have the flu when it is flaring up that just won’t go away.  He is trying to resign himself to wearing a brace on his knee and using the cane for the rest of his life, because the doctor told him he was not a candidate for surgery.

I know, I know, I know…….but ………I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.

I know some of what he is feeling.  I know the frustrations.

But, I don’t know.

I can’t imagine having no choice but to walk the streets in the midst of a bad flare, when there isn’t any place to go.  I’m glad there are places for him to go to get help, but I can’t help but wonder if they just give the minimum care because he is homeless.   I can’t imagine being on the streets in the cold or the heat which bothers the joints.  I can’t imagine having to rouse yourself and get out of a shelter because you have to, when your body is screaming NO, I don’t want to.  I can’t imagine trying to carry most of your belongings or being forced to hold things, when your hands or fingers won’t cooperate or at any given moment not have the strength.  I can’t imagine having to walk mile after mile when your knees scream stop.

When I left today, I told him, “Now I know how to pray for you.”  You know what he said to me?

“And, now I know how to pray for you.”

2/14/11

“C” wasn’t there today.  I had wanted to ask him about his time in culinary school.  He had mentioned which one he had his degree in on our last visit, and I couldn’t remember, so I wanted to get it right before I mentioned it here.  However, he wasn’t here today.  Maybe he has a visit at the VA hospital?  That is where he was the last time we visited the park on a Monday.  When one of the “regulars” isn’t there, I find myself wondering and praying for their health and safety.  We plan on going back next Monday the 21st, hopefully “C” will be back.

2/21/11

“C” was back today.  He had been sick, that is why we hadn’t seen him.  He said he had been at the doctors, which usually means the VA hospital for him, to get some medication.  He said he didn’t come to see us when he was sick because he didn’t want to get us sick.  He said “I wouldn’t come around you guys, if I was sick, I don’t want to get you sick”.  It was a great warm day, there seemed to be more people than normal so we didn’t get quite as much time to chat.  He had a ready hand to help us unload and load the car, and seemed to be getting around well with his new knee brace.  We talked a little about his new “shave” to remove his beard.

Keep “C” in your prayers as he continues to gain his strength and battles any illnesses please, when your immune system doesn’t work right, any illness can be a drain.