Gifts Amidst Sadness

Sometimes it is amidst sadness that we find great gifts.

Yesterday we attended a celebration of life for my second cousin.

Listening to family remembering his life, and talking with other family members, I was again reminded of family threads that run through and in us that we are often seemingly unaware of. I thought about my great grandparents and grandparents, some I recall, and some I’ve never knew, who have shaped and impacted generations, and still impact generations today. I thought about how generations before that may have impacted tendencies deep within us, without us even being aware of it. The thread running in my mind was how words and actions have the power to impact generations.

I know that God places each of us where we are supposed to be. I know that He places in each of us a desire to know Him. As I’ve walked and continue to walk my own spiritual journey, I’ve realized there have always been people surrounding me that were drawing me to the love of Jesus. When I was younger, I would have been hard pressed to describe the feeling I had when I was with my Mother’s side of the family, I just wanted to be around them. Yes, I loved my Father’s side of the family, but I was drawn to my Mother’s side.

Lately I have been thinking about our older generation. I’ve come to realize that even though our older generation was not always as vocal with their spiritual beliefs, they lived it. And, by living it out, they drew in me, a little girl who was being led down a false path to continue to lean in and press near to Jesus. I rejoiced yesterday; when the Lord’s name was declared! Praise Jesus!

When I was very young, I remember gathering, playing and laughing with multiple generations of my Mother’s side of the family. We would gather at my Great Grandmother’s house for picnics and gatherings. As the years passed, when any from that generation would gather together, for whatever reason, there was always the feeling of acceptance, love, family, of just being home. Sadly, the gatherings became fewer in between as most of the older generation passed, & the younger generation scattered.

For years now, whenever I think of Heaven and what it might be like, I remember those gatherings. To me Heaven would be an expanded version of those gatherings. Where not only those who have passed on would be gathered in one great picnic and homecoming, but I would also one day see all those in my life that my family circle has expanded to be: whether by marriage, birth, friendship, church or community. Heaven will be one glorious homecoming of all those that the Lord has placed in my life for His purpose.

Yesterday, some of that generation gathered again, to remember a loved one passing. For me, that same feeling was there. That feeling of hope. The hope that I have in Jesus. With that hope is the belief that He is pursuing those I love that don’t know Him. The belief He cares enough for us to pursue us. We just need to respond.

So, while it is sad to say goodbye here on earth, a great gift is bestowed. The gift of hope! The gift of Jesus! That is what I believe Heaven will be. Oh, what a glorious homecoming!

May you find the true gift of Hope this Christmas Season.

May you know Jesus.

“That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord”, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

 

Second Nature

I have this habit that I didn’t realize I had.  Craig pointed it out a while back.  Then I started noticing it.

It is I guess a sort of self-soothing, thinking, unaware thing I do when I’m lost in thought, anxious, bored, reminiscing or what not.

Usually it involves just my left hand, but I have been known to do it with both hands.

What is it?

I rub my thumb between my second and third fingers in a back and forth motion, generally across my nail, in an absent mind sort of way.

Once this was pointed out to me, I tried to pay attention to when I did it or the occasions I did it.  It seems to be something I do when I am deep in thought and definitely a tactile means of self-soothing.

I wondered for a bit why I did this.  I wondered was this something I learned by observation. All the while, rubbing my fingers.

I had this nagging feeling that I had seen the behavior somewhere.  A sort of comfort behavior.

Then I remembered this picture.

Grandmom deep in thought while we were probably driving to Maine.
Grandmom deep in thought while we were probably driving to Maine.
Here is the same finger pose. Pensive thinking, fingers ready.

I love this picture.

This person I loved with all my heart.

When I rub my fingers now, I also remember my Grandmother.

I’m connected to her again.  I remember her love.

Sigh.

Rub. Rub. Rub.

It’s self-soothing when you miss someone.

I am now on a mission to discover how many family members inherited this trait or learned this behavior.

So far I’ve found two more.  🙂

Spring Cleaning

Cleaning Supplies for Spring Cleaning
Cleaning Supplies for Spring Cleaning (Photo credit: Chiot’s Run)

When I was younger I remember my Mother would go through her big Spring cleaning stage.  We cleaned each room from top to bottom, inside and out.  We wiped the walls, baseboards, floors, windows, cleaned curtains, linens, emptied closets, and believe it or not, we aired the furniture outside and polished and cleaned it before we brought it back in!  I remember how the room felt when it was completely empty and then that fresh and clean feeling afterwards.  The exciting part was putting things back.  That’s because we never seemed to put things back in the same place. That was where the fun came in, re-arranging.  Starting fresh, springing forward, and starting over.

As I got older, I don’t remember Spring cleaning being such a big production.  Mom scaled it back.  We still did a lot of main cleaning, you know, like windows, curtains; a wipe down of the molding and baseboards, but the furniture didn’t make it outside for its sunbathing time.  The furniture always seemed to have a re-arrangement time, at least once or twice a year, and that stuck with me.  When I thought about my own Spring cleaning, I thought of Mom’s scaled down version.  You know, minus the sun-bathing furniture.

Fast forward during the time in our marriage when Craig would be traveling and he would never quite be sure if I would have re-arranged the furniture during the day when he came home late at night.  I’d get this itch just to shake things up a bit and move things around.  I think I tried as many combinations as possible there for a while.  I think he bumped into a lot of things too.  (Thanks, dear for putting up with all that.)  🙂

I don’t know if the boys caught the Spring clean itch or not, but it was not for lack of trying when they were young.   Both boys completely changed what rooms they called their bedrooms here in this house three times over the years.  We’d do my own mini-version of Mom’s Spring clean on a bedroom.  Well, the furniture never made it outside, but it did get a good cleaning.

Before we landed here, there was this period of time in our marriage that we moved every year, one year we moved more than  once.  The joke was, it must be time for a Spring cleaning, the movers are coming!  We had moving boxes with different mover’s stickers on them.  When we moved here we thought it would be for just a short time also.  That was over 19 years ago.

Somehow life just caught up, and I just didn’t do the whole deep Spring clean thing like I used to.  Sure, there would be cleaning (duh, please), but not the top to bottom, inside and out, that sent a breath of fresh air stirring inside me.  I’d get the occasional rush (gosh, that makes me sound like an addict) from a mini-Spring clean of a junk drawer or a closet re-do, or one room cleaned, but there would always be something else I would have liked to get done.   There is a feeling that is hard to describe that comes over you when you know that your home is clean from top to bottom, all at once.  I understand my Mom’s change in her Spring cleaning now that I’m older.  Her house grew, and the stuff grew.

My personal taste is not easily defined.  In some areas I would like a modern/minimalist area, and in others I like a “make yourself comfortable-mix it up with family heirlooms”.  I guess that is why the expression “eclectic” came up.  It’s for people like me who don’t know what they are, or who start out with just a little bit of stuff and they and their family accumulate more things they like or have been given them and then just add on.  They say you should surround yourself with only things you love.  Well, often those things “don’t match”.  So eclectic it is.

Like I said, I understand my Mother’s change in her Spring cleaning now that I’m older.

I used to sit and think how nice it would be to have every area of the house gone through from top to bottom and in between.

To sort through the accumulation of things that have been put away for the time “when we get to it”, and to actually have decisions made on things to keep, sell, donate or purge.

The task could seem overwhelming at times.  Where to start, when to start, and then sometimes, even why bother starting?

Over the years we had accumulated enough things that I felt our house was bursting at the seams.   I’m not suggesting anything like the TV show hoarders.  I just felt that we were in a serious need of a thorough Spring cleaning.

After sending items for #2 son’s new apartment, two loads to an auction house, multiple trips to donation facilities, giveaways, and some purging, almost every inch of the house has now been gone through from top to bottom inside and out.

While we finalize the last minute details of things that need to be done, I’ve re-arranged what little furniture and things we have left, for old times’ sake.

The furniture will get its’ sunbathing and fresh air time while being loaded on the truck.

Well, it is Spring.

And the movers are coming.  Yes, the movers are coming.

Interest Due!

Found a submitted bill yesterday from an indeterminate date with accumulating interest.

I don’t know how I missed it.

Perhaps it had something to do with the way the bill was submitted.

Hidden away, who knows when, years ago.

A test of some sort, I guess.

Long since forgotten by the child, and left.

Found by Mom during the sorting and packing.

“If you can read this…can you please give me the money for my other lost teeth”

IMAG0314

Child must have decided tooth fairy couldn’t read.

Epic fail tooth fairy.

The Christmas Barn…”a big mistake”?

Around 28 years ago I was introduced into a world that I had not really seen before.

Craig fondly refers to it as “a big mistake”.  He’s just kidding.  I think.

After our Thanksgiving meal we would go and visit the The Christmas Barn.

My first trip there can only be described as a kid in a candy store.  I did not know where to look first.

There was one long room with rows of trees decorated in various themes, with the corresponding baskets of available decorations for purchase.  Different types and colors of lights were displayed to choose from, along with multiple tree toppers, garlands and other tree delicacies.

The pic-DE-la-restance was when I wandered into the room that held a tree elevated on a table with a miniature village snuggled under the branches, while a miniature train moved back and forth along a track.  Little lights peeked out from tiny windows.  Trees glistened with what only could be described as a magical snow, and a church with a stained glass window was perched on a hill while a  farm nestled in a valley below.

I.was.hooked.

Department 56 Christmas Train Layout
Department 56 Christmas Train Layout (Photo credit: contemplative imaging)

I believe that year for Christmas Craig gave me my first Department 56 piece, the sleigh and reindeer.

For awhile I collected other less expensive village pieces, but they were never quite the same, in size or quality.  I would think about the ‘real village’ I first saw.  We moved to SC and found a shop that was opened for a while that had a full display of the Snow Village Department 56 series I had first grown in love with along with, wait for it…….other village series! Oh boy, oh boy!  (Did I just hear a groan?)

So, for quite a few years when the kids were younger we would go to Peddlers Porch before Christmas, I’d wander around the store and show Craig and the boys the different Snow Village pieces I liked and then they would surprise me for Christmas and/or my birthday (yeah, my birthday is right before Christmas) out of the things I liked.     Usually, I would visit the shop before hand so I had a pretty good idea what I liked, however, they were still quite patient with me while I looked, because I still had to give it another quick check….just in case.   It was always still a surprise seeing which they selected.

While Craig finalized ‘the purchase’, the boys and I would select an Old World Ornament together for the tree.  (I know what you’re thinking, another collection, and yes, you are correct)  I miss doing that with them.

When I started collecting the North Pole series,  Tyna, Rick and the kids selected pieces for that, along with Craig’s Mom.   At Christmas I’d open packages from PA and I could imagine them picking out the respective pieces out of the display available.  I hope they received as much joy selecting them as I did receiving them.

Over the years my collection has grown to the point that there isn’t any more room on the mantle or the side tables.

I stopped collecting soon after the shop closed.  That has been quite a few years ago.

I don’t know if Craig was glad or not when the shop closed.  I mean I certainly don’t need anymore pieces, but it did make shopping easier for them.  🙂

I’ll soon be getting out all those boxes.   I know that they are ‘just things’.  I know that they are not necessary, however, when I look at them I remember the love that came with each piece.   If it was a gift, I remember who gave it to me.  If it was one picked out, there was usually a reason why, and I remember.

When they are all up and the lights are twinkling, I remember all those memories….and I see that tree again.

I catch Craig checking out the houses when they are all up.  He will even prompt me when I am late getting around to it, “Aren’t you going to put your houses?” he will ask.

I think he has his memories too.  Some “mistakes” have a way of warming the heart.  🙂

Norman Rockwell Dinner

OURs... to fight for Freedom from Want is a co...
OURs… to fight for Freedom from Want is a color lithograph created in 1942 by Norman Rockwell and published in the Saturday Evening Post as part of a series illustrating the “Four Freedoms.” The aim of the series was to promote the buying of war bonds by Americans during World War II. Copyright held by the Curtis Publishing Company. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I remember the first time I cooked what I’d like to refer to as my Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving Dinner.  Remember, being raised as JW, we didn’t celebrate Holidays, so it wasn’t until I left home that I began to enjoy these celebrations.  Now, I had been at other homes for Thanksgiving, but this was the first time I had prepared ‘The Spread’.

Looking back I now am realizing Mom made up her own version of celebrations so she could continue to celebrate the Holidays.  Case in point, when she made a turkey feast, she made stuffing, a green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, and a spinach casserole.  (Sounds like a Thanksgiving meal to me).

The first time I made her spinach casserole was on that day.  (The fact that both Craig and Chris grew fond of this is a special connection to my Mom for me.)  It was also the first time I had made a turkey (yikes!)   I remember getting out the linen tablecloth, crystal glasses, silver, decorations, and even had parsley decorating the turkey on the plate ready for Craig to carve.  If I’m remembering right Craig’s Mom brought her potato filling, and we had a stuffed sideboard and table  full of food.  There were at least 7 of us.   I thought I had a picture somewhere from that day of the table and the turkey, but a quick search couldn’t find it.  (Note to self:  you really need to get back on that picture organizing project!)

I also think it was the first big meal I made for Craig’s family.  Good thing it worked out. 🙂   I’ve made many Thanksgiving meals since then, and had a lot of good meals at friends and family homes too; but everyonce in a while I think about that first one for me.

May today bring fond memories and blessings.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!